The tackiest gift I've ever given

It all started with an e-mail from Amy. One of those nickname ones. This one was stripper nicknames. Of course, once I figured mine out (no, I'm not telling), I passed it along to a few more friends. Because I'm sweet like that and I wanted to share the joy.

Mz Pitbull was one of the people I sent it to and she made the mistake of telling me her new stripper name. And since we are such good friends and I like her sooo much...

Ta - daaahh! Merry Christmas Montana Glitterthong!!

(Yep, that's her name written across the butt!)

And kids, you can't buy tacky like that. You gotta go to Wal-mart and get the fixins and put it together your ownself. Which is just what I did. One pair of shiny hot pink panties, 3 feet of beaded fringe, pink skull iron-on appliques and a whole bottle of silver glitter paint. Add a hot glue gun and voila! you got some serious tack goin' on. The only thing missing is feathers, but only because I couldn't find any.

God only knows what she'll come up with as revenge but whatever it is, this is worth it!

Christmas is coming!

Speeding at me like a derailed bullet train. (Do bullet trains derail? And if they do, do they keep going so fast? Eh, who cares, I like it so I'm using it.)

Anyways, I've been a bit Scroogey this year. Well, a lot Scroogey actually, but I'm working on it. Now if I can just figure out a way to make everyone cooperate...

Hello, is this the Acme Corporation? Yes, I'm interested in mind-control gadgets? You have them? Great! How powerful? Weeelll...
Oh. Nobody makes one powerful enough to handle last-minute shoppers and neurotic relatives?
Sigh. Now I'll have to think up something else for Santa to bring me.

At least I can listen to my all time favorite Christmas song without getting weird looks. People really do think you're strange if you sing carols in July. Especially this one:

Let it snow, Let it snow

It snowed! Not all that unusual for some people but definitely not the norm here in south Louisiana. It wasn't a lot and it didn't stay long but it was pretty fun while it lasted. And I got a day off from work out of it. *grin*

Skye, of course, was less than pleased with the whole ordeal. She wanted to go out for her morning walk. Until she realized that a walk involved actually stepping in that cold, wet stuff on the ground. Miss pampered, prissy princess decided at that point that no walk was worth getting her feet wet and back inside she went. She spent the rest of the day lying in front of the fire, sighing pitifully. I did eventually manage to convince her to go outBut she wasn't happy about it. She was outside maybe a minute when she came running back to me. Can you tell she was ready to go back in? I'm pretty sure she is even less of a fan of cold weather than I am. And yeah, I spent the entire day in jammies. Snowflake patterned jammies.

There's a squirrel at the end of that video that made me laugh. He went running out of my yard and then slid in the snow out into the road. Then he picked himself up, shook off and looked around like "Hmm, did anyone see that?"

Fun and not so fun

We went to the trade show in New Orleans this past Saturday. By we, I mean NewBossLady, MsPitbull and me. In NOLA. On a Saturday. At the Convention Center. Fucking yay. Wasn't too bad, traffic was crazy, but since I drove we made it in about 80 minutes. Yes I have a lead foot and a piss poor attitude behind the wheel. No I'm not a defensive driver. I prefer to think of myself as an offensive driver. And by offensive, I surely do mean shouting "You stupid fucking moron, park that piece of shit SUV and walk!" out of an open window. So that part was amusing, at least for me.
We get there and I discover the true meaning of hell. I have never seen so many women in one place at the same time in my life. It wasn't clouds of estrogen, it was a goddam smog, a sea of surging hormones. And Diet Coke.
It was fun though, once I got past all that. NBL and Pit are a blast to hang out with, we looked at some great stuff. This trade show had lots n lots n lots of jewelry. Lots. Of. Sparkly. Things. Also, cooking stuff, cleaning stuff, clothes (OMG I actually had to stop and look, some of the stuff was great. And I bought a shirt. The other two tried to talk me into a belly dancer's outfit but I had to draw the line somewhere), luggage, knickyknacks, you name it somebody was selling it. We bought a bunch of stuff for the store, took business cards to make appointments with vendors, looked at everything, touched most things and did a good bit of personal shopping.
Lessee, I bought jewelry for me, jewelry for T, clothing for me and the nieces and best of all knives. Umm, I bought 5 knives. 1 big ass blade as long as my forearm and 4 smaller ones. My favorite kind of sparkly stuff.

Today a jewelry guy came by the store to see NBL. Pit and I helped select some jewelry for the store and bought ourselves some sparklies of our very own. Nice to get stuff at cost and be able to help pick stuff out. Between the 3 of us we have a pretty wide range of tastes so lots of different kinds of things to play with now. I really liked this necklace, chunky pieces of smoky quartz. A little to big to suit me but I loved it.

We have been crazy busy but it's all been pretty fun. I like working in such a light hearted atmosphere. Other than the former crazy owner/boss lady (who has been renamed Satan's Psycho Cow) coming around everything has been great. The other ongoing problem is our main distributor for books. Their order site has been down since Saturday morning. So we are unable to look up or order books and our order has been delayed. yippee fun joy for me.
We are dealing with it but it does add a touch of aggravation to the day.

Anyway, I'm doing ok. I'm loving work, T came home this morning to spend Thanksgiving, I talked to both brothers and both parents in the last few days and everything is going well.

Oh, the not so fun? That was this evening. Turning into a total klutz. Tripping and falling down my stairs. Busting my knee and my face. The knee can be hidden under jeans but I think it's gonna be pretty hard to hide the humongous fat lip I've got. And the bruised chin. *sigh* Oh well, at least I didn't break my glasses.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my favorite Troublemakers! Hope y'all have a wonderful Thursday.

P.S. Pit brought me a can of coffee beans - the brand is Kicking Horse and it's the KickAss dark - anybody tried this stuff before? It smells good, I haven't tried it yet. Gotta love a friend who knows your weaknesses.

Skye's great, thanks dearhearts (you know who you are)

Thanks for caring, y'all are the bestest.
Skye's surgery was yesterday. So it was a get outta bed, throw on clothes mad rush to the vet's office before heading off to work. And waiting to hear back.

She did just fine. Spayed and two lumps removed. Kinda scary to find out that 2 lumps had come up in the short time since the last surgery. Definitely made me think I made the right choice.


I picked her up this morning (did the mad rush thing again). Had to leave her at home while I went to work, and of course I felt horribly guilty. I really don't think she cared though, since she was drugged outta her little head. Min-pin on pain meds, kinda funny akshully.


And yeah, I'm keeping her a little doped up because she is so damned hyper. When I came home tonight, she tried doing her usual dance routine. Never mind the 3 sets of stitches, happy dance is a must. So, another pain pill and another chew treat (as a distraction).


And I wanted to share this pic:

Yes, I left a note.

More time, dammit!

I need more hours in the day. I'm working 10 - 12 hour days, 6 days a week and still can't get everything done. AAAAHHH!!
Exhausted doesn't even begin to cover the state I'm in. I'm so tired I'm loopy and so wound up I can't sleep.
Yes, the store has been sold. The new owners took over last week. No, we are not completely rid of the schizoid former BL. I am setting up the new POS system, not getting call backs from tech support (lazy bastard assholes in AZ), handling customers, running errands and pretty much all the rest of it. The upside - new owners are MOST appreciative, incredibly nice and generous people. They brought me a coffee pot, have bought my meals, pay me on time, reimburse me when I use my money for store stuff and so forth. I hear "thank you" and "you are so wonderful" all day long. I'd forgotten how great it is to work with real decent human beings. I'm not even going to talk about all the shit the former BL has pulled in the last week. We aren't moving to the new location until after Christmas (whew!) and I've been asked my opinion on layouts, stock and pretty much everything else.

Skye's surgery is Nov 5th. Found another knot on her belly. All pre-op test results were good. She is fine and we are fairly optimistic.

Went to that wedding, had fun, saw my niece and nephew and some good friends, got my leg humped by Bonehead, kissed Big D and came home.

Took some pics I'll eventually get around to posting on flickr.

Trying to survive massive allergy/sinus attack caused by taking pictures of fall flowers.

I've made Halloween goodie bags for my babies and now I'm going to bed.

I'm still not married, still haven't set another date, still haven't gotten an oil change and missed garbage pickup this week. And I haven't even looked at the mail or bills or email or blogs or pretty much anything that wasn't work related or dire emergency. Amazing that with all of this I'm still usually in a good mood and enjoying the insanity. Yes, I really really really like my new bosses.

adenocarci -WHAT?

If you are one of those people who responds with "It's just a frickin' dog!" please go the hell away now. Really. Just go away. Cuz it's not just a dog, it's my dog. My 11 year old, incredibly cute, sweet as all get-out, been around longer than 2 husbands, dog.
Last summer I noticed Skye had a knot on her belly, right by a nipple. About the size of the tip of my thumb. Took her to the vet, had it removed and sent it off to LSU Vet School to be tested. Biopsy results: Benign tumor, completely contained within sample. Whew!
But it gave me the horrors so I kept an eye on things (honestly, I think the dog got more tit checks than I've ever given myself).
This August, two little pea-sized knots popped up, neither in the same place as the big one from last year. Back to the vet we go. Skye was not thrilled about the extra visit even if it did mean crunchy treats from Dr. Lisa. Doc was a bit concerned since the benign tumor, if it recurs, comes back in the same spot. We scheduled another surgery, which was a bit nerve wrecking considering Skye's age. She did fine other than expected soreness from 2 incisions. Sent those off to LSU and waited for biopsy results. And waited. And then got smacked by Gustav. And waited some more.
Finally, finally got results today. Dr. Lisa called me at work to give me the results. Adenocarcinoma. At least I think that's what she said. I went deaf right after she said malignant. Shit. She gave me the complete name and I can't remember it. Whatever the $50 name is, it's breast cancer.
The good (??) part is that the tumors were "completely contained within the samples submitted" according to the report. Also, this type is considered a Grade 1 malignancy (I guess that's the correct phrasing). Which means that it may come back but it's not a super aggressive and quick spreading type. Going into heat seems to be causing them. So my options are:
A)keep checking constantly to see if any more tumors pop up. Hope they don't and if they do, have them removed. In other words, surgery once a year probably. And hope that the cancer doesn't decide to set up shop anywhere else. Umm, no I don't think so. Not much of an option at all in my mind.
Or
B)have Skye spayed immediately and as soon as possible. This seems like the best idea. The only concerns I have are her age and having this surgery so close to the last. She's 11 and I've been warned that anaesthesia is pretty risky at her age. As is any surgery that involves opening the body cavity. (The tumors were just below the skin, so the removals were surface incisions)


I'm going to see Dr. Lisa tomorrow to talk things over and schedule the surgery. I'd rather chance the anaesthesia than cancer if it were me, so I'm making the same choice for Skye. I'm pretty worried about my girl though. I've already bawled all over a couple of friends (thanks y'all) and T and putting it on here too. Some people may decide I'm overreacting, getting this upset about a dog's health problems. I really couldn't care less. It's helped me calm down which keeps Skye from getting to wound up. And that's really all I care about.

Update: I stopped in to talk with Dr. Lisa today (Friday). Definitely getting Skye spayed. I'd already decided that and Doc said not only did she think it was the best thing but the pathologist who did the biopsy told her it was the smartest thing to do. There's a good chance spaying Skye will prevent any more tumors from forming/growing/spreading into other areas. BUT. Skye is over 11 years old and this is major surgery anyway. So Doc wants to do a whole set of blood tests and an EKG before we schedule the surgery. Once she gets all the results, we pick a day for the surgery. I have to talk to BL and new BL to make sure I can take a day off in about a week or so for the pre-op stuff. That's gonna be fun, since I'm not quite sure who I'll be working for next week. Doesn't really matter much, I'm taking the day off no matter what.

I used to work for Dr. Lisa so that has really helped the whole situation. She's straight up with me, doesn't try to soften things and quite willing to explain anything. She's fairly optimistic about the whole thing and I know her really well, so I trust her. Plus Skye likes her so that's one less thing to worry about.

Something else happened

Remember I said September 30th was the day, unless something else happened? Well, something else happened. T is working in Texas and the job site got hit by Ike. They thought it would be okay, but apparently not. It didn't help that a guy quit and another guy had to leave because his wife has to have surgery. So they are behind schedule, short-handed and now finding out that there were more problems than they were originally told.

So, no, I'm not getting married tomorrow. We thought T might be able to drive up tonight but he found out this morning that leaving is impossible right now. And truthfully, even if he had been able to, I wasn't really comfortable with doing things that way. Coming in early Tuesday morning, getting married, taking a quick nap and turning around to get back in time for Wednesday night did not seem like a great idea. So I called him about mid-morning and told him I'd rather wait. Turns out he was trying to figure out how to tell me we had to wait because they have run into some pretty serious problems at the job site and he can't leave. We talked about the situation for a bit and decided to hold off. I told him the next time he was home we would pick a day far enough in advance that we could actually plan something. And far enough in advance that his boss will be able to schedule someone else to work those days. I'm not really all that upset by the situation. The back and forth uncertainty was driving me crazy. Once the decision was made I felt a lot better. I took today off anyway just to get some thinking time and rest a little.

And no, I still won't agree to 9/11.

Not too bad

Gustav wasn't too bad for me, other than the week without power. Taking ice cold showers by flashlight was a pain.

I took a few (fairly bad) pics. If you want to see some great pics, go over to Amy_D's flickr page. She's an awesome and incredibly talented photographer (she's also a great friend).

(That's not a river, that's the ditch alongside the highway)

(The trail riders' pavilion, the day after the storm)

(One of the many trees down)

That's the closest anything came to falling on my house - the end of the big branch in the background ended up a few feet from the back corner of the house. Guess that wind was good for something.

The bug that got in my house while the power was out. Creepy lil bugger, took me forever to catch him and put him outside.

I missed a week of work because of Gustav, so I've put in extra hours and brought work home to make up the time. Since I had that as an excuse, I haven't done the stuff around the house that needed to be done. Like yard work, which I hate. It worked out pretty well though. My younger brother, Toothpick, called me this morning and offered to do the yard work. Yay! So he cut the grass, hit the corners and such with a weed-eater, cleaned the porch and even helped pull down and untangle the windchimes. Thank heavens for my little brother with the big heart.

(Toothpick, hard at work)

I've still got a box and a half of audio books to work on, not to mention the other stuff. Guess I'd better get back to work.

And, yes we did have to push the wedding date back because of the storm. So now the big day is September 30th. Unless something else happens.

Bits 'n' Pieces

Just some random thoughts floating around my head. I'm too tired and brain-numb to sort them out. My brain is jumping around like a flea on crack. Maybe if I just unload some of it here I can get it to settle down.

I've shared my views on politicians before. Obviously, I don't care for them. Political stuff doesn't excite (or incite) me. I just wish all politicians were required to live on the average income of their constituents. No matter how low it is. It won't make much difference to some, but maybe it would discourage a few of the more unscrupulous and greedy ones. Plus, I think it would be as amusing as hell to watch Senator Porker and Representative Swine try to get by on $32k a year. Of course, if it ever happened, there wouldn't be anyone holding public office in Louisiana. All we've got are the unscrupulous and greedy.

If I hear BL refer to the moving sale as her "last big hoo-hah for good customers" one more time, I'm probably going to lose it. I'm sure she means "hoo-rah" and it's taking every last bit of my self control not to bust out laughing. I'm not the only one who's amused, I caught a couple of customers snickering the other day.

I'm as prepared as I'm gonna get for Gustav. The only thing I'm really worried about is something I can't do anything about. There are a lot of trees around my house, mostly pine. Every time the wind gets stronger than a breeze, branches fall. Lots of big branches. Needless to say, a hurricane makes me a little nervous, waiting for a big branch to come through the roof. Or maybe a whole tree. Yeah, that'd make my week.

I'm going to resort to drugging Skye, if and when we get hit by Gustav. Storms make her really nervous and jumpy. Since she's just had surgery, nervous and jumpy is a bad thing. I really don't want her busting either set of stitches. I'm gonna give her some Ace and hopefully, she'll sleep through it.

There is a pet evacuation center at DCI. The local officials have finally figured out that a lot of people will not leave their pets behind. After Katrina, DCI was used as a shelter for a lot of rescued animals. It worked so well, it's being done again. Oh, DCI stands for Dixon Correctional Institute. Yep, the pet shelter is the local prison.

One last thing. I hate when hurricane season overlaps with lovebug season.

Ya think?!?

It was a little wet at Grandma's house. Her front yard: The turn off to Grandma's house - can you tell she lives in the boonies?

We had a birthday party for my Grandma today. I don't see my mom's family much, but I showed up for this. Not everyone could make it so it wasn't too bad. I had a good laugh watching my cousin's 6 year old daughter try to teach her great-uncle how to play "Rock, Scissors, Paper." He kept messing up and misunderstanding on purpose so she would get mad. She's a pretty intense kid and very dramatic, so it's funny to watch her roll her eyes and sigh in exasperation. Determined lil thing, she never did give up. When they left she told him "That's okay, we'll work on it some more next time I see you."

Happy Birthday

to me, happy birthday to me! 35th birthday at that. I guess one of these days I'll start acting completely grown up. But probably not.

*****************

I think I want a tattoo for my birthday. Hmm, next day off is Friday, maybe? Looks like a trip to Gonzales for me. T is not thrilled with the idea, even though he just got a new one, goes from his shoulder to his elbow, big enough to hide the scar from the railroad spike. I've got one, he has 3 and yet he is worried about me turning into a tattoo addict???? I'm getting one just gotta decide when, where and what. (I've got 2 or 3 that I want, trying to decide which one first)

Shadow's eyes

(Wade's post Cipher cafe reminded me of this)


...forward from - Standing in the Shadow...
You have seen me before, in the spotlight given off by the street lamp at the corner or perhaps in the darker corner of some café. Not the menace of some stalker, just some stranger reading the paper or waiting for a bus. Or perhaps it was down in New Orleans, near the French Market on Decatur Street. When the July sun was so hot, it bleached the colors from your sight. The heat in the air coming off the street seemed to scorch away all your familiar landmarks. Gone were the shades and hues that shaped your world. In front of you other pedestrians were simply another obstacle to avoid. I was there, off to the side, standing in the shadow, taken to pause by the stories unfolding before me . . .
Maybe I wasn't just reading the sports page or waiting for the bus, maybe this is where your character stumbles across the pages of this book I'm reading; a bit part in the Great Play on Life. A full dress rehearsal where you go home each night and review how to be a better actor because tomorrow you will be on stage, again. Me, I am the guy in the audience. I'll be here at the Café du Monde, drinking coffee and eating fresh biegnet, applauding some acts and critiquing others, . . . and trying to make sense of the scenes.
When you have had enough of this hustle and bustle, when you step into the shade to catch your breath, with a half smile and a gesture toward my now empty chair, I will walk away. Somewhere, someone is writing a book I want to read . . . but for now, I'll stand over here . . . in the shadow.
the author


another piece from Shadow. I have always enjoyed seeing the world through another's eyes. Especially someone I know, or think I know, well. There is something lonely about this piece but it's a satisfied loneliness. He chose to remain apart, slipping through the cracks in the world. I am, to a point, the same way. A little more social but on my terms. Other than the people I have to deal with at work and T, I haven't spoken to anyone for a few days. I've lived inside my own head, watching the world continue its mad scurrying without allowing myself to be dragged along. Nothing is wrong, I just want to be apart. That's the nice thing about being a shadow. Unremarkable and unnoticed, I slip away

My first customer today

Well, I guess he wasn't really a customer, since the bastard didn't buy anything. Just ran around, scaring the shit outta me.

Need a better look? Here ya go -

I opened the store this morning and had made several trips back and forth down the front aisle. Never saw the sonuvabitch. Walked around the counter to pull a book from the new paperback rack and there he was. And then he RAN at me. Next thing I know, I've levitated 6 feet in the air and come down sitting on top of the counter with my feet tucked under me. First time I've prayed all friggin' year.
And, of course, no one else is there. NO ONE. Any other morning I'd have had 3 people waiting for me to get there, bitching and moaning and wearing boots. But not this morning. Oh no, my life doesn't work that way. I'm stuck sitting on a counter while Spidey there patrols the front aisle. Every time I tried to get down and sneak to the back he'd run at me again. Back on the counter I'd go. I finally was able to reach the phone and call BL to find out where the bug spray was. All we have is roach spray. "Does that work on spiders?" says I. She says she doesn't see why not. So I wait until he is at the far end of the aisle, jump down and do some running my ownself. Grab the big can of Bengal and walked veeeerrrrryyy slowly back. Spidey is sitting at the front, giving me the evil eye. Waiting...
I sprayed him with Bengal, he walked away. I sprayed again and again and again and... You get the picture. Not only is he an oversized arachnid from Hell, he's a fucking Bionic oversized arachnid from Hell! Damn thing wandered away from a half a can of Bengal like I was flicking raindrops at him.
I couldn't even stomp him, I was wearing flipflops. One of those obscenely long and disgusting legs would have touched me. Or, my luck being the way it is, I'd have missed and the creepy would have run up my leg and chewed out my throat. Not the way I want to spend my morning.
The funnest part? Spidey kept hiding under shelving and then running out as I walked by. Sadistic lil fucker!
Finally a customer wearing boots came in and stomped the disgusting thing. This wonderful man even took a broom and swept the remains out the door and into the parking lot. I wanted to kiss him (I didn't, since he was married and all, but I wanted to)

When BL finally showed, I shared the pic with her. She freaked just from that. I told her I didn't have anything better to do while sitting on the counter. Plus I thought she wouldn't believe how big the thing was unless I had proof. I sure hope this one's big brother isn't waiting for me when I open tomorrow. I just don't think my nerves will handle it.

So go ahead and laugh at me being a big fraidy-cat. Because I was.

And I've had the creepy-crawling wibblies all day. Guess what I'll dream about tonight?

Seasons of change

Resurrection

Fires burning
to melt this Ice
River of Life flows
through my soul
again, waking the Garden
pain of Birth equaled
only by the pleasure of living
Winter's Darkness fades
as the madness of spring
over takes my mind
and I return from
Death again to
Celebrate another year

Nothing comes without a price. Feeling again means opening myself, not just to pleasure, but to pain as well. Learning to trust means learning to live through betrayal. And for every joy celebrated, pain must be endured. This poem is, on the surface, about celebrating the return of spring. I dread winter every year, wait impatiently for warmer weather. It's also about living through the winters of the spirit. The times when our souls seem to freeze and everything around us is dull and gray. If we allow it, the light will return. Everything explodes into color and warmth. It's not easy or painless. If you've lived in shadows for a time the light can burn your eyes. And everything seems so overwhelming. Coping with a resurrection of the spirit can be as painful as the loss that dragged you down. It is a madness, the need to touch, see, taste everything all at the same time. To gorge oneself with experiences, to seize every moment and wring it dry of every nuance. Until exhaustion forces a period of contemplation. A moment to sit and put these events into perspective, organize them into my mind. And add these occasions to my memories, these sights to my eyes, these tastes to my tongue. A weary bacchante, temporarily sated.

Party time!

Too bad it's a pity party. I'm sitting here pouting. It's 10:30 p.m. and I'm not the least bit sleepy. I keep trying to convince myself it's bedtime but nothing works. I'm normally a night owl, though I've learned how to get to bed at a decent hour and get up early in the morning. I hate doing it and I'm usually a bitch until I've done the caffeine and nicotine bit.
The problem tonight is the pity party. As crazy as T drove me these last 6 months, I started missing him something awful when he drove away this evening. His shoulder is mostly healed, the surgeon released him Thursday. He's due in to work tomorrow morning at the office. The office is a 4 hour drive from home, so he headed out tonight. And as ready as both of us were for him to get back to work, I almost cried when his truck got out of sight.
The first night he's gone is always the hardest, especially since he was home so long this time. Tonight it will take forever to fall asleep. And unlike most nights, I'll wake up at every little sound. One miserable Monday coming up.
So Skye and I are sitting here, eating Cool Whip and pecans and snuggling. And waiting to get sleepy.

Addicted, oh my yes I am

My favorite part of working at a book store is the books. Old, new, boring, silly, whatever. I don't care, if it's a book I'll take it. I just love books. The look, the feel, the smell. Have you ever walked into a book store and just stopped to inhale? Not one of those new stores, I mean one of the ones that sells new and used books. There's something about the scent of old paper and ink that gives me an instant sense of belonging, a quiet pleasure in the moment. An anticipation, knowing that something good is about to happen. Mmmmm....
Oops, sorry, got lost there for a minute. I didn't mean to wander off like that. I intended to write about advance copies. Despite working 6 days straight, I had a pretty good week. Not too many loonies, just enough work to keep me busy and (best of all) a box of advance copies. In case you don't know, publishers send out copies of books prior to the release date to book stores and reviewers. What a wonderful practice! It's one of my 3 favorite things about working at Book Nook. (The other 2 are the books and the smell. I just looove the scent of books...) So I opened this box of ARC, grinning all the while. Even if I don't find anything to interest me in the box I still enjoy just looking. Sometimes I find something to recommend to a customer, which is almost as good as finding something for me. This time I got lucky.
So I have a stack of books on my desk, waiting for me. Some of them are already out, I just haven't gotten to them yet. (I usually have from 5 to 20 books stacked up in the "to be read" pile.) Not including the bag of "You need to read these" books a friend brought me, or the bag of books to read when I can't find anything else or the box of books under the desk, this is what I've got:
Carved in Bone (Jefferson Bass) - mystery, sounded good and I just love the author's name. Sounds like a Southern lawyer known for his bourbon-sipping and drawling.
The Secret History (Donna Tartt) - given to me by a customer.
The Alexandria Link (Steve Berry) - I haven't read his other stuff, I picked this one up because of the reference to the Library of Alexandria. If I like it, I guess I will try something else by him.
The Tower of Shadows (Drew Bowling) - fantasy from a young author. I'm a sucker for quest fantasy and dragons.
Angelica (Arthur Phillips) - chosen because of what I read on the back cover: "...a brilliant new novel that is part Victorian ghost story, part literary and psychological puzzle, part meditation on memory and fear." I hope it's as good as it sounds.

Those five are out. The next three aren't on sale yet. I've included the on-sale dates if anyone wants to know.
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows) - This is what I'm reading now. So far I'm hooked. The book is set in England, January 1946. The main character, Juliet, is an author looking for the subject of her next book. The story is told in the form of letters between Juliet, her publisher, her tour manager, her friends and one of the members of the book group. For some reason, part of my enjoyment is the format of the books. I get a kick out of reading her letters, possibly because it's not something one would really do, so the hint of naughtiness amuses me. (Glo, I think you might like this one) Available July 29, 2008
Tigerheart (Peter David) - a new take on Peter Pan. I love fantasy and the cover art caught my eye. Flipped it over and saw a partial list of the author's other works: Sir Apropos of Nothing, Wode to Wuin (ha!) and Knight Life. Also a werewolf story, Howling Mad. If I like Tigerheart, I'm going to hunt down his backlist. Available June 17, 2008
Journey of a Thousand Miles (Lang Lang) - I rarely read biographies but this one caught my eye. I read the first page and decided this was a bio I could read to the end. The story of a 25 year-old Chinese musical prodigy and the sacrifices he had made. Available July 8, 2008

A short list of other books I've enjoyed:
Heavy Words Lightly Thrown (Chris Roberts) - I've recommended this to y'all before. Included it again simply because I enjoyed it enough to read it again.
A Great and Terrible Beauty (Libba Bray) - very good. I'm waiting for copies of the other 2 books, Rebel Angels and The Sweet, Far Thing
Garden Spells and The Sugar Queen (Sarah Addison Allen) - the second one isn't out yet (another treat from an earlier box of advance copies) stories of family and magic. loved both. the cover art is great too.
Mona Lisa Awakening, Mona Lisa Craving, Mona Lisa Blossoming (Sunny) - paranormal erotica series about the Monere (children of the moon). I didn't find the books too graphic but some might. Set in part in the New Orleans area. The author is a lovely person who responds to email personally.
The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love (Jill Conner Browne) - An early SPQ book. The SPQs are a Southern phenomenon which has spread out into the rest of the world. Hilarious, very Suth-un and written just the way the author speaks. In Y'all-bonics, of course. This book is where I picked up the phrase "freeze-dried whackaloons". If you like this one, I'd suggest reading the rest, I've enjoyed the ones I've been able to get my hands on. Especially this one.

Also, if you don't mind steamy and you like paranormal, books by these authors:
Lara Adrian (Midnight Breed series)
J. R. Ward (Black Dagger Brotherhood, vampires and ass-kicking)
Angela Knight (the Masters series - Arthurian legends, vampires, werewolves and sorcery)
Lora Leigh (Breed series, Seals series and the Nauti books, veeerryy hot)
Cheyenne McCray (D'Anu series is paranormal, there are 2 others which are suspense)
Lynsay Sands (Argeneau series, vampires)
Victoria Laurie (ghost hunter series, not steamy)
Anya Bast (witch series)

There are more but I'm out of time. I'm going to drag myself away from the computer and the books today and spend some time outdoors. Happy reading!

naming God (as an accomplice)

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a problem with religion. It's not that I don't believe in God or that I hate all religious stuff. I just don't like the way most religious groups preach one thing and do another. Like tolerance. Saying "love thy neighbor" doesn't mean a whole lot when you are bad mouthing the neighbor because they aren't "real" christians.
Part of my problem is that I just have no appreciation for fanaticism. Whether it's of the tight-lipped, judgemental kind or the wild-haired, eye-rolling martyr type, I pretty much lose interest about the point some yahoo tells me they heard it straight from God's mouth. Somehow I have a hard time believing God is all that interested in talking to some freeze-dried whackaloon.
Reading the news this morning, I ran across this article. Basically, this little 11 year old girl in Wisconsin died because her parents believed it was better to pray over her than take her to a doctor. She had a treatable form of diabetes, which apparently went undiagnosed. Even though she had been showing signs of serious illness for over a month according to family and friends, her parents thought they should just hold fast in their faith and everything would be okay. I read the article and even watched the video. During the video, pieces of two 911 calls are played. The one from the aunt was awful. The aunt seemed sure the mother would fight EMS over taking the daughter to the hospital. Then I read this article, which was an interview with some so-called man of God about his interaction with the family. He had apparently spoken to the parents as they rode behind the ambulance transporting their comatose daughter. I'll just paste the bit that pissed me off:

In the call Sunday, "they told me that she had stopped breathing and asked if I would pray that The Lord would spare her and raise her up, which I did," he wrote. "I called on our prayer ministers and elders to pray for her too. "The next thing I heard from them was that they were being investigated,which is sad since they don't investigate the people who put their trust in doctors whose family members die by the hundreds of thousands from medical mistakes every year, according the AMA's own admission. "We know that the doctors do the best they can with what they have and we do not condemn them. We would like the same consideration."

Umm, excuse me?? This moron is comparing his mouthing of pleas and platitudes with the work of a doctor who knows how to treat the disease the girl had. How on earth these dummies think their prayers are on the same level as actual treatment just floors me. Sorry, prayers and faith are great but THEY ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL MEDICAL INTERVENTION! Pray all you want while the doctors are giving your kid medicine. Just don't leave out the part where you take the kid to the doctor. As far as I'm concerned the parents are guilty of criminal negligence, that freak preacher is guilty of encouraging (or demanding, depending on his preaching) same and now the adults who should have been taking care of this kid are trying to blame God. That's right, I said blame. None of them are taking responsibility. None of them are saying "Yes, I decided not to take Madeline to the doctor when she got sick. I decided she didn't need medicine, just prayer. I denied Madeline medical care and she died because I decided to pray instead of use my God-given common sense." Not one of these adults has stepped forward and admitted their decisions were this little girl's primary cause of death. Nope, instead they are all saying "We prayed for her" "We did the best we could do" "We stayed fast in prayer" "Our lives are in God's hands" . So, in other words, they are saying it isn't their fault this little girl died from a treatable condition (diabetes), she died because God wanted her to. Somehow, I have a problem believing that. God gave us brains and brains are for thinking, not filling up the space inside your skull to keep down the echoes. As far as the last sentence in the preacher's statement, about receiving the same consideration as doctors, I call BULLSHIT! He doesn't deserve any consideration, he deserves at the least a foot in the ass. He and the parents did not do the best they could, they didn't do anything (the parents weren't even the ones who called 911). Why should they receive any consideration, why does he think that his efforts were on par with what a doctor could have done? A doctor could have actually treated Madeline for diabetes. Instead, Madeline dies at the ripe old age of 11 and her parents and preacher pat themselves on the back for keeping the faith. That's not a miscarriage of justice, that's an abortion of truth. How much you wanna bet her parents are pro-lifers committed to saving unborn children? Too bad Madeline was already past the fetal stage.

Recipe for that dessert

If ya want it, here it is:
4 Layer Dessert

1st layer
1 c. self rising flour
1 stick of real butter
1 c. chopped pecans

mix and press into ungreased, clear glass pan (9x13) bake at 325 degrees 10 - 15 minutes. Wait until completely cooled before starting next (if you are in a hurry stick it in the fridge)

2nd Layer
1 c. Cool Whip
1 c. powdered sugar
1 8oz. block of Philadelphia Cream Cheese (I use 2 cuz I love cream cheese. It's good either way)

mix and spread over crust. chill until set.

3rd Layer
1 large pkg of Instant Chocolate pudding
3 c. milk
4 - 6 tsps. of sugar

mix and spread over cream cheese layer. chill until set.

4th layer

Cover with Cool Whip and sprinkle with chopped pecans.

See? Dead easy! And so very good. The only thing I can tell you is don't skimp on the ingredients. Use real butter. Do not use sugar-free or low-fat stuff. Seriously, it's just not as good. Besides, if you're gonna sin you might as well make it worthwhile.

Happy Easter

telling myself to STFU

I went by the gym tonight and spent some time sweating. On the way home, I stopped by the bank to deposit my paycheck. It's a small bank in a small town so depositing my check means signing it and dropping it in the night box. And that's exactly what I did. Three-fourths of the way home (which isn't all that far) I suddenly heard That Voice. You know the one, it pipes up in the back of your head to tell you that you've screwed up somehow. Mine was telling me that I hadn't dropped my signed paycheck into the slot, that I had somehow dropped the envelope on the ground and left it there for someone to find. And someone would find it and throw it away or take it and cash it or something else awful. And there I'd be, minus a whole paycheck. Man, That Voice was coming up with all sorts of terrible stuff. Missed bills, late payments, so forth and so on. All of that, despite the fact that I knew I'd dropped that check into that slot. I saw it disappear. But because of That Voice, I kept wanting to turn around and go back to make sure. Even sitting here typing this, hours later, I still feel the urge to throw on some jeans and go check the bank parking lot, just to make sure. I haven't done it yet and I keep telling That Voice to shut up. Reminding myself that I saw the envelope drop into the slot. That Voice replies that maybe that's an old memory, from another night. I tell That Voice to hush up one more time.
I guess a lot of people have a Voice like that. Some people's Voices sound like somebody else. I've heard of folks hearing their mama or grandpa. I wouldn't mind hearing someone else's Voice. It's a lot easier to ignore somebody else. I hear my own voice. Let me tell you something, it can be very hard to ignore your own self talking at you, fussing and worrying, criticizing and complaining. And, man, I am mean. That Voice can bring up stuff that happened years ago, making me feel stupid all over again. So I try to tell myself to shut the fuck up. Too bad I'm so hard-headed, I don't even mind my own self. So, I'm trying to write all this out, hoping I don't sound like I'm flat crazy, thinking that maybe putting it all down like this will show That Voice that yeah, it got to me. I just won't give in to it. And I wonder, if That Voice is me, why do I get so mad? Why don't I like it?

imagine me rolling my eyes

I've been a bit scatter-brained lately, more so than usual. I don't know whether it's the time of year, everything that's been going on, or what, but I can't seem to get things done here lately. Not enough time, not enough energy. I have managed to read quite a few books, but then again, I can always find time and energy for books.
I haven't posted anything in a while (obviously!) but something happened today I just had to share. I get a lot of phone calls at the bookstore from people who want to know if we have a particular title in stock. Usually the caller asks what the store hours are during the same phone call. Usually calls like that take about 5 minutes. Today I had one that didn't go quite as usual. The caller definitely made my list.

Me: Book Nook, may I help you?
Her: Yeah, do y'all have a book called Killing Mockingbirds? Or whatever it is, I don't know.
Me: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee? (You wouldn't believe the variations I hear on that title, but I was pretty sure that was it)
Her: Yeah, I guess, whatever.
Me: Yes ma'am I have several copies
Her: Ok, what are y'all's hours? What time do you close and
what days are you open?
Me: 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday
Her: Are y'all open on Sunday?
Me: No
Her: Ok, so y'all are open right now, today until 6
Me: Yes

And then she hung up. So I went to help a customer and while I was talking to that customer the phone rang again. It had only been about 6 or 7 minutes since that phone call.

Me: Book Nook, may I help you?
Her: Uh, yeah I just called about that book How to Kill with
Mockingbirds and you said you had one.
Me: Yes ma'am
Her: Are you still open, you said you were open till 6
Me: Yes, we're open until 6 today. (It was about 5:20)
Her: Well you're open till 6. Is someone gonna be there?
Me: Ma'am?
Her: I'm sending my kid to get a copy, and I just wanted to make sure somebody was gonna be there in a few minutes since y'all are open until 6
Me: Yes ma'am I will be here until 6
Her: Ok so you'll be there? I mean I don't want to send him if you aren't there when he gets there.
Me: We close at 6, I'll be here until 6. At 6, I'm locking up and leaving. So as long as he gets here before 6, I'll be here.
Her: Ok I just wanted to make sure someone would be there until 6

I had to laugh after I hung up. I really, really wanted to tell her that even though the store was open until 6, no one would be there. She could just come in and get her book. And make sure to leave her money on the counter. The customer who was in the store overheard my side of the conversation and by the time I got off the phone she was laughing her ass off. The best part? When the kid came in to pick up the book, I recognized him. His mom (the one who called) is the stepdaughter (from a previous marriage) of the woman my dad is now married to. I'm just thankful there's no actual blood relation.

from Standing in the Shadow

to believe
winds that blow, do coldly,
set loose this soul's unease.
a heart that ventured boldly,
now loneliness must appease.

for why in shelter even sought
this heart a comfort from the wind?
crushed so carelessly without a thought,
man has fallen, love has sinned.

still stands fast this simple man,
with discipline and trust.
for courage wavers without plan
and believing is a must.

tomorrow is but another day,
brought by night to end.
if then love should come my way,
it will be brought,
by you,
my friend.

written by Shadow, for me, shortly after we met

It's been 3 years. I still miss you everyday.

My buddy

This is Ears, a red-nose pit bull who lives at the vet clinic where I worked. One of the sweetest, goofiest dogs I've ever met.
Ears is a Katrina refugee. I started working for Doc shortly after Katrina. She was already involved in the rescue/shelter operation, providing veterinary services and helping to locate owners for all the animals who ended up here. I don't know if anyone saw (or remembers) the story one of the news stations did about the animal shelter set up in a Louisiana prison with the inmates doing a lot of the daily care for the animals. That's the one Doc helped with and that's how I met Ears. We thought he'd had a home at some point since he was in pretty good shape and obviously accustomed to being handled. As a matter of fact, Ears insists on being handled, played with and loved on. He doesn't mind men, but he absolutely adores women. Needless to say, he enjoys living at Doc's clinic, since her staff is usually all female. After taking care of him for months, none of us wanted to let him go so Doc kept him. He's survived Katrina, living on the streets of New Orleans in the aftermath, lots of upheaval and a pretty bad case of heartworms.
Being around Ears is one of the things I miss about working at the clinic. He thinks he is a lap dog so he's constantly trying to climb up and sit on someone. Sometimes he would come and sit under my desk, resting his chin on my feet. He's quite an escape artist, he figured out how to get out of kennels pretty quick. There were several mornings I walked in to the clinic to find him sitting on my desk or laying in front of the door waiting for someone to arrive. He bounces around like a puppy if he sees a tennis ball and he's one of the few dogs I've seen who is happy to jump up on an exam table. To him it means lots of petting, a few pokes when he gets a shot, and then more loving and treats. He's a little spoiled now, but as sweet as ever. When I took Skye to the vet the other day, he ran right up to the fence to say hi and get some pets and scratches. He also wanted to see Skye, since the two of them got along pretty well. She doesn't much care for being licked head to tail in one swipe and he always looks as if he's laughing when he does it.
All of my life I've heard horror stories about pits. Ears is nothing like that. He's just a great dog, big hearted, loving, sweet, mischievious and funny. And a reminder (to me, anyway) that judging a book by its cover and living a life based on assumptions is a good way to miss out on too many wonderful things.

Princess, Pampered

I've already introduced my min-pin Skye. And I'm pretty sure I mentioned that she is incredibly spoiled and pampered. Somehow I get blamed for this. Dad brings her bags of Cheetos every time he stops by and T gives her cookies slathered with peanut butter. Sarge and Wench have been known to feed her steak. Everyone else babies her outrageously but it's my fault she's rotten. Yeah, right.
Skye is an indoor dog, has a nice little bed with a blanket on it, plus a blanket on the couch and another under my computer table. T insisted she needed a house. Why? Because she needed "her own little space". I said okay, figuring we'd get a carrier. Wrong. That wasn't big enough or good enough according to T. And carriers don't look like houses. (spoiled, remember?) So we looked for dog houses that looked like people houses. And found one at Hell-mart. I read the description on the box and tried to talk T out of it, since it was for dogs up to 70 lbs. Skye weighs 7 lbs. "That's going to be too big" I told him. Not to mention, it would take up a lot of room in our very small house. But he really, really wanted to get it and since I have a hard time saying no to him we bought it. (Okay, okay I'll admit I thought it would be kinda cute for Skye to have this huge house)Anyway, we bought it, brought it home and put it together. T stuck her bed in there then decided she wouldn't like walking on plastic. He took her blanket, folded it and used it to cover the floor. She now has wall-to-wall carpet. Since he'd used her blanket for the floor, he took one of my fleece throws and gave it to her for a blanket. Needless to say, Skye loves it.

The sight of this tiny dog lounging in this huge house makes me smile.Pretty darned cute, huh?

Not on my need to know list

One of my favorite characters from Edding's Belgariad said "Any day you learn something is a day you haven't wasted." (Badly paraphrased, but I can't find my copy)
Last night I learned how to remove stitches from incisions. Hopefully, I'll never have to do it again. I'm not squeamish, but I don't do well with scissors.
Talked to my dad today, he'd been to the doctor. His eyes are doing great.
T goes to the doctor tomorrow, but he is doing really well. The stitches were actually cutting into his shoulder and the incisions were getting irritated. Since they came out, he's done much better. He still can't lift his arm or use it to push/pull/carry anything, but he can move it pretty well. Plus, it's not hurting as much.

Things are going pretty well, there have been further developments on the job issues. I'm waiting to see what happens next and how everything turns out. (Can't talk about it in detail until it's all done. Cross your fingers for me, please!)

Southern charms

One of the things I enjoy so much about living in the South is that warm weather comes earlier and stays later here. So, for all my friends enduring icy, dreary weather, here's a little sunshine for y'all.

Tulip magnolias from two different trees. The one above is from the zoo, below is near my home.

Kumquats. Soo good. Right around the corner from my house. I just liked the contrast of red berries and green leaves against that drab, gray wall.

Hope y'all enjoyed this. Wishing everyone warm winds and blue skies. Hugs.

7 Days

Ok, here's a quick rundown of the last 7 days
Friday - sick all day, then the stove died. Bought new stove online, to be picked up on Saturday.
Saturday - went to work, still sick, busted ass all day. T called to tell me the store didn't have the stove we paid for so we were getting a different one. Got flat tire on the way home. Rode home on the spare (scary). Admired new stove, discussed some things with T. Tried to call Wench to cancel plans for Sunday, couldn't get her. Gave up and went to bed.
Sunday - helped T thread and install pipe for gas fireplace, cleaned house, more discussion of issues. Gave up and went to bed.
Monday - worked, worried and worked some more. T put new tire on car, took him to lunch. Ran into SIL, nephew and SIL's aunt at restaraunt. Went back to store and worked some more. Went home, more discussion. Gave up and went to bed.
Tuesday - worked. Found out I may need to update my resume in the near future. Seriously considered finding a hole, crawling in and pulling the ground in behind me. Went home, gave up and went to bed.
Wednesday - sat by phone until I heard from Dad's wife. His surgery went well, they don't think the retina will detach this time, only one more surgery left. Headed for BR, to buy freezer and groceries. Couldn't find right freezer at Sears. Found some jeans (which I desperately needed) and some books. Found freezer at Sam's. Bought freezer and LOTS of groceries. Came home, put everything up, read until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Went to bed.
Thursday - went to BR for T's surgery. Got there at 10:30, waited in Pre-op until after 2 pm. They took him in and I waited. Surgeon came out at 3:30, said everything went better than expected. Finally headed for home at 4:30, didn't get home until 7 something. Very bad traffic.
Got T settled, called the family to let them know (they had all called me, but I couldn't talk and drive), typed this, gave up and went to bed. I don't know why I am so damned tired.

Not a wonderful week, very draining and stressful. On the plus side, I bought a bunch of new books. Heavy Words Lightly Thrown is by a librarian from London, examining the stories behind nursery rhymes. I enjoyed it, lots of info presented in an engaging, funny way. I could almost hear his accent when I read. Not a very long book. Also picked up an anthology of Dorothy Parker's short stories (the actual title is Dorothy Parker Stories). Read it today while waiting. Very 1930s. Kept my attention so worth it to me. Not, however, for those who like happy endings or nice people.
A little more for the plus column, T and Dad both are doing fine. Dad's eye looks great, according to his doctor. So he only has one more to go. T's surgeon told me that he didn't have to do any reconstruction on the rotator cuff, it looked better than he thought it would. That means no immobilization for 6 weeks. YAY!! A sling tonight and for a little while longer for comfort. Also, the surgeon at this point thinks by spring everything will be back to 100%. I'm sure I've left something else good out, but can't think what. To everyone who expressed concern and wished us well, many thanks. Good thoughts and hugs right back to all. Now I'm gonna go get some sleep. Morning comes early and T is already asleep.

Busted

Had a little talk with the Boss Lady recently. She informs me that, while using the store's computer, she found my "little bloggy loggy thing". Not sure which one, probably not this one. I'm thinking it was my profile at MyBlogLog.com. She said from the timestamps (none of which are accurate, different time zone) she knew I had done a lot of that at work and considering all the graphics and text, there was no way I could have done all that in just a few minutes. I'm under the impression she thinks I put all that together, spending hours playing when I should have been working. I don't think she realizes that profiles are pretty much done automatically.
On the other hand, I have used the work computer to send a quick email or message to someone. I've also used it to create a post here. The post only took about 5 - 10 minutes, since it was a copy & paste deal, but still.
I understand that she objects to playing on her time. I even admit that I was wrong to use her computer to play while I was supposed to be working. No problem. Believe me when I say it won't happen again.
The only thing that bothered me: I told her that usually when I used the store's computer for something personal I did it when I was taking a break to eat lunch. I am the only employee, so if she isn't there, I don't get to take an actual lunch break. I sit behind the counter and eat in between customers and phone calls. She told me that if I was taking a break I needed to deduct that time from my hours. My question is, how am I supposed to calculate that as a break when it is constantly interrupted by work? Honestly, some days it takes me 45 minutes to eat a sandwich because I stop so often to help someone. Other days, I end up throwing my lunch away because it sat so long uneaten that I no longer want it.
My solution at this point is that I won't use her computer for anything not work related and when I'm there by myself I'll continue working while eating. Or skip sitting down to eat anything. I guess I'll bring more snacks and just nibble through out the day.
At least she wasn't a raging asshole about the whole thing, like some people's bosses are. She's actually a pretty cool boss so it all evens out. I'll just have to squeeze my play-time here in between work and spending time with T.

Don't ask, don't tell

I have a few pet peeves. (Only a few??? Well, only a few I'll admit having, anyway.) One of them is the phrase "How you doing?"
When did "How you doing?" become an acceptable substitute for "May I help you?" I hate trying to figure out if the kid working the drive thru is ready to take my order or attempting to stall me while trying to figure out how to work the register. If I go ahead with my order, the kid asks me to repeat it. If I wait, I get a huffy sigh and "Go ahead with your order" in a snotty tone.
The other most common usage of "How you doing?" seems to be in response to "May I help you?" If someone walks in the bookstore, I usually say "Hi, is there something I can help you find?" Most common response is "How you doing?" AAAAGGGHHH! I hate it. I was taught that it was extremely rude to respond to a question with a question, unless clarification was needed. And I really don't think these people actually care about how I'm doing, they just seem to feel the need to speak without thinking.
I usually ignore the question when I'm having a bad day. Since I don't like to lie, giving a truthful answer isn't a good idea. If you don't care, don't ask. If I don't answer, move on. Don't repeat the question at increasing volume.
I'm not even going to comment on rules of grammar and how they apply.
The only time I ever ask someone how they are doing is when I actually care about the answer. In other words, I have to like you or be concerned about you to ask. The rest of the time, I don't ask because, frankly, my dear I don't give a damn.

Monday morning marathon (of silly tests)

Some of my friends over at PAN were busy this morning. By the time I checked, they had taken all of these tests and posted their results there. Since I'm late, I'll put all of my results here. (Truthfully, I'm once again being lazy!)

You Are Not Destined to Rule the World

You are destined for something else... Like inventing a new type of cupcake. You just don't have the stomach for brutality. But watch out - because many people do!

Are You Destined For World Domination?

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English 40% Dixie 5% Yankee 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Charming Executor of Sacrifices. Where You Lived: Romania. How You Died: Hung for treason.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your IQ Is 125

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

I think that was all of them. Thanks Rose, Glo, Wade and Amy for the giggles and grins.
BTW, I won't be bouncing around much for a while. T's surgery is the 31st, and Dad's is the 30th. I'm just a little stressed right now, worrying about both of them and trying to get things done before then.

Escapism

Illusions

Once upon a time...

Hush! It's only a tale

and happily ever after

naught but an empty promise

Silver knights in

enchanted castles

fair maidens, a quest

a sword, a dragon

Nothing but dreams

to weave beside the fire

As we grow old

and forget the fantasies

of childhood.

I wish I could remember mine.

If you're interested in reading more of my poetry, click the poetry label under this post. There's also a list of labels further down the right side of the page. Also, because I'm not comfortable doing this anywhere but here in my own space, I'm including links to both of my submissions at Poetry.com.
Temptation (my first entry)
Elegy (which can be rated also, even though it's not eligible for the big contest)

Something for Monday morning blahs

Remember when I said I like the funny tests you can find all over the internet? I liked these two so much I thought I'd share them.
These are my results and of course, the links to the test.




Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti
And, this one I found out about from Anglo (thanks!), so I've already shared these results. I'm gonna stick it on here anyway, just for grins!

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat

72% Affectionate, 51% Excitable, 24% Hungry

You are the good Samaritan of the lolcat world. Protecting others from danger by shouting observations and guidance in cases of imminent threat, you believe in the well-being of everyone.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku

One last one

The 2-Variable Intuition Test - I ended up with a higher percentage in the emotional intuition (62) than in the scientific (55). I didn't include the whole results thing because it uses a HUGE font, even bigger than the lolcat test. I hate the screamingly big font, but I can't figure out how to change it. So it's just gonna stay like that. Yep, I'm lazy. What? I warned ya.

Adding to the list

Not that list. This list.

Contestant #1: The guy who called about dictionaries yesterday. He really needed one, but only if I could tell him the price, binding and print size on every dictionary in stock. Umm, no. I told him he needed to come in and look them over himself. He said he only wanted to come in if we had "good" dictionaries. According to him, the only way to be sure a dictionary was good one was to check for the word "juggernaut". If I would just read out each dictionaries' definition of juggernaut, he could decide whether or not he wanted to buy one. The upside? I now know the man's entire name, home phone number, phone number of the place he's staying and his entire schedule for three days. Yeah, I'm gonna get back to him any minute now.

Contestant #2: Another male customer. I don't know what's going on with the guys around here, but it seems like the dumb-ass convention is in town. Yesterday the weather was god-awful. Major thunderstorm, rain like waterfalls. This guy walks in, looks at me and says, "That's some rain. I guess it's gonna be a little wet today." Ya think??? (No, I didn't say it. I thought it, but my self-control held.)

Last, but not least -
Contestant #3: The little old lady who walked up and down and aisle for 20 minutes, muttering and sighing. Finally, she stops and yells at me, "I can't find the Murder, She Wrote books. Come show me where they are." When I walked back to help her, I found her on the sci-fi aisle, staring at the Star Trek books. BTW, the lady is a regular customer, she comes in at least once a week.

New addiction

The first time I heard about Lolcats, my reaction was "Huh? What the hell?" Thanks to some buddies, I've now become addicted. It's gotten so bad, I made a few of my own today. Just cuz I could.

moar funny pictures

If you've ever watched Animaniacs, you know who I was thinking about. If not, go look it up.

I don't know why the whole picture doesn't show, but if you click it, it will.

Does the first post of the year set the tone?

In my case, probably not. Unless you count random thoughts and silliness. Anyway, I'm semi-recovered from the holidays. Now if Boss Lady will just stay in town and come in to the store occasionally, I'd be just fine.
Since I haven't posted in 2 weeks, I've got all sorts of stuff whirling around in my head. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a way to work everything in under a single topic. Owls, T, presents, barbarians, and theft. Just for starters. Nope, I just can't see a way to do it. So, before somebody starts making wild stories up to cover all those, I'll go ahead and throw it at ya.

Theft isn't usually amusing, especially to someone in retail. We really, really hate shoplifters. And of course, the holidays are wonderful opportunities for the sticky-fingered. Boss Lady was pissed, steam coming out of her ears, when she realized someone had stolen a couple of hardback books the Saturday before New Year's. I just tried very hard not to laugh, since I didn't want Boss Lady to go off on me. But really, it struck me as funny. This woman stole Nelson's New Illustrated Bible Commentary and Halley's Bible Handbook. Somehow, I don't think reading religious material you stole will win you any points with Jeebus. "For it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord." Hey, is that ozone I smell? Just kidding!

Presents are good. I love getting presents. My Christmas present from T came in early and since he's the impatient type, I got it a few days before Christmas. Which left me without a Christmas present to open on Christmas Eve. T decided that needed to be fixed, so this is what I found when I came home from work Dec. 24th: Note to self: Don't let T play with the camera anymore.

Owls. Now where was I going with owls? Oh yeah, the owl incident. If you look back a bit, you'll see pics from my ride to work. Obviously, I'm out in the boonies. Coming home after dark on these back roads is always great fun. Deer, raccoons, opossums, rabbits and the other night an owl. It was late, I was going slow (for me anyway) and got the hell scared outta me. I came around a sharp curve, headed across a little bridge and thought a deer was about to run out of the bushes. Instead a HUGE frickin' owl swoops out of the trees on one side, down into the middle of the road and back up into the trees on the other side. My first thought: Oh shit, brakes!!! My second thought: What was THAT? A fucking pterodactyl? Boys and girls, real owls do not look like Big Mama from The Fox & The Hound! So, lesson learned, no more doing 75 m.p.h. at night on curvy little country roads.

Lastly, barbarians. I took the local members of the Horde their presents the day after Christmas. Everybody liked their books, even the mini-barbarian. Of course, little Genghis used his books to beat on the floor, his sister's head and any other handy surface. But, hey, what's a holiday without a minor concussion for your nearest and dearest? I wouldn't know how to handle it if we didn't have to take someone to the doctor every year.

That's little Genghis. Cute little monster, but of course I could be a wee bit biased. The arm belongs to his older brother, Porkchop. (And yeah, that's my voice, are ya happy now? You know who you are!) This vid may not stay up long, if I can figure out how to move the other one from the camera to the computer I intend to replace it. Enjoy it while it lasts.

OK, enough for me now. I'm tired and I have 5 more very long days to get through before Boss Lady gets back to town.