My giggles for the day

I can't tell you how many times I've heard this on the radio without paying a bit of attention. Usually I listen to CDs while driving but this evening coming home I finally got over the 3 day fixation with Flogging Molly. I ended up switching over to the radio just as this song came on. Damn near died laughing. It's the ultimate stalker song! Immediately reminded me of the story How The Wench Got Her Very Own Stalker Boy (no, I haven't told it, probably won't, it's a fairly typical story of my beloved BFF gaining a stalker . It was funny for us, because we laugh at inappropriate stuff, but not exactly something you can't fill in the blanks on). I kinda like the song, but seriously:

"You gotta spend some time love, you gotta spend some time with me/And I know that you'll find love, I will possess your heart"

"there are days when outside your window"

"You reject my advances and desperate pleas/I won't let you let me down so easily"

Y'know what? I'm gonna make plans to hang out at The Wench's house, drink real coffee and talk trash about everyone we know. And let her know I've found a song that's gonna make her cringe and laugh. And just enjoy her and appreciate the fact that she's a part of my life.
And any guy who ever says he wants to possess my heart is gonna get smashed in the face with a hammer. Sorry, formaldehyde is so not my scent and really, I like my organs just where they are, thankyouverymuch. Not in a mason jar in granny's basement.

And just a few hours after I posted this, guess who I almost ran over? Stalker Boy. That "almost ran over" was literal btw, cuz the skeezy lil fucker was standing in the middle of the road. I didn't run over him, I'd have hated to mess my car up.

Sharing the lulz

I have a really warped sense of humor. But y'all know this already, right? And I love to read (this is also not a surprise). So when I find something that combines 2 of my favoritest things in the whole world, I gotta share.

Books and pervy funny:

(All links are pretty much NSFW. You've been warned)

Link #1 - Failblog. Pretty obvious dirty joke HERE. Reninded me of my favorite dirty story punchline. "EWW, what is that white stuff?"

Link #2 - Now this one is kinda gross. If you have issues with gory, skip this one, okay? If you click it, I'm not responsible for nightmares, nausea or nasty headaches. Chris's Invincible Super-Blog. Here's what you're looking for: click the link, scroll down past the first few pics, take a quick look at the picture of the ghost nurses (just because it causes an OMGWTF? moment), scroll past the ghost nurse closeup. Are you looking at the back of a guy in a blue coat? Good, cuz that's the one I'm talking about. Read the speech bubble. Spit coffee on keyboard. Choke, laugh and read again. I'm so passing that along to Mz Pitbull.

Link #3 - Sailor Jim the Storyteller on the subject of penises. If you've ever read a romance novel you understand the dilemma. And the humor of erect penii. Sorry fellas, but they are.

Link #4 - Saving the best for last. Candy from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books reviews Decadent. The review is hilarious, the comments are even more so and the LOLporn, oh yes the LOLporn. So make sure you click the link and read the comments. If the idea of teh buttsecks freaks you out, skip this one. Cuz there's lots of it. With descriptions and jokes and pictures even. I'll never be able to look at Lifesavers again.

By the way, everything here is Saysh's fault (thanks Saysh, I love you *smooch*) since she's the one who gave me the link to Smart Bitches in the first place. And Smart Bitches had the links to the other spots. Even Failblog, although I'd already seen it since Failblog is in my faves. Why did Saysh give me a link to Smart Bitches? Well, besides knowing I love to read, I'm pretty sure she wanted to pay me back for giving her the link to Desperately Seeking.....Something.

Sunshine and a friend

means it's time for a smoke break!

Happy weekend honeys!

The tackiest gift I've ever given

It all started with an e-mail from Amy. One of those nickname ones. This one was stripper nicknames. Of course, once I figured mine out (no, I'm not telling), I passed it along to a few more friends. Because I'm sweet like that and I wanted to share the joy.

Mz Pitbull was one of the people I sent it to and she made the mistake of telling me her new stripper name. And since we are such good friends and I like her sooo much...

Ta - daaahh! Merry Christmas Montana Glitterthong!!

(Yep, that's her name written across the butt!)

And kids, you can't buy tacky like that. You gotta go to Wal-mart and get the fixins and put it together your ownself. Which is just what I did. One pair of shiny hot pink panties, 3 feet of beaded fringe, pink skull iron-on appliques and a whole bottle of silver glitter paint. Add a hot glue gun and voila! you got some serious tack goin' on. The only thing missing is feathers, but only because I couldn't find any.

God only knows what she'll come up with as revenge but whatever it is, this is worth it!