As close as I get to religion most days

Orison

Bright Lady, hear me
fill me with Your love
banish the chill from my soul
Bless me with the warmth of Your embrace
Mother, I have need of Your bounty
Grandmother, grant me Your wisdom
Maiden, impart t0 me Your courage
Sweet Goddess, heed my pleas
lend Your ears to my prayer
Your child wails in darkness
Grant me the light of Your presence.

Shadow's eyes

(Wade's post Cipher cafe reminded me of this)


...forward from - Standing in the Shadow...
You have seen me before, in the spotlight given off by the street lamp at the corner or perhaps in the darker corner of some café. Not the menace of some stalker, just some stranger reading the paper or waiting for a bus. Or perhaps it was down in New Orleans, near the French Market on Decatur Street. When the July sun was so hot, it bleached the colors from your sight. The heat in the air coming off the street seemed to scorch away all your familiar landmarks. Gone were the shades and hues that shaped your world. In front of you other pedestrians were simply another obstacle to avoid. I was there, off to the side, standing in the shadow, taken to pause by the stories unfolding before me . . .
Maybe I wasn't just reading the sports page or waiting for the bus, maybe this is where your character stumbles across the pages of this book I'm reading; a bit part in the Great Play on Life. A full dress rehearsal where you go home each night and review how to be a better actor because tomorrow you will be on stage, again. Me, I am the guy in the audience. I'll be here at the Café du Monde, drinking coffee and eating fresh biegnet, applauding some acts and critiquing others, . . . and trying to make sense of the scenes.
When you have had enough of this hustle and bustle, when you step into the shade to catch your breath, with a half smile and a gesture toward my now empty chair, I will walk away. Somewhere, someone is writing a book I want to read . . . but for now, I'll stand over here . . . in the shadow.
the author


another piece from Shadow. I have always enjoyed seeing the world through another's eyes. Especially someone I know, or think I know, well. There is something lonely about this piece but it's a satisfied loneliness. He chose to remain apart, slipping through the cracks in the world. I am, to a point, the same way. A little more social but on my terms. Other than the people I have to deal with at work and T, I haven't spoken to anyone for a few days. I've lived inside my own head, watching the world continue its mad scurrying without allowing myself to be dragged along. Nothing is wrong, I just want to be apart. That's the nice thing about being a shadow. Unremarkable and unnoticed, I slip away

Seasons of change

Resurrection

Fires burning
to melt this Ice
River of Life flows
through my soul
again, waking the Garden
pain of Birth equaled
only by the pleasure of living
Winter's Darkness fades
as the madness of spring
over takes my mind
and I return from
Death again to
Celebrate another year

Nothing comes without a price. Feeling again means opening myself, not just to pleasure, but to pain as well. Learning to trust means learning to live through betrayal. And for every joy celebrated, pain must be endured. This poem is, on the surface, about celebrating the return of spring. I dread winter every year, wait impatiently for warmer weather. It's also about living through the winters of the spirit. The times when our souls seem to freeze and everything around us is dull and gray. If we allow it, the light will return. Everything explodes into color and warmth. It's not easy or painless. If you've lived in shadows for a time the light can burn your eyes. And everything seems so overwhelming. Coping with a resurrection of the spirit can be as painful as the loss that dragged you down. It is a madness, the need to touch, see, taste everything all at the same time. To gorge oneself with experiences, to seize every moment and wring it dry of every nuance. Until exhaustion forces a period of contemplation. A moment to sit and put these events into perspective, organize them into my mind. And add these occasions to my memories, these sights to my eyes, these tastes to my tongue. A weary bacchante, temporarily sated.

from Standing in the Shadow

to believe
winds that blow, do coldly,
set loose this soul's unease.
a heart that ventured boldly,
now loneliness must appease.

for why in shelter even sought
this heart a comfort from the wind?
crushed so carelessly without a thought,
man has fallen, love has sinned.

still stands fast this simple man,
with discipline and trust.
for courage wavers without plan
and believing is a must.

tomorrow is but another day,
brought by night to end.
if then love should come my way,
it will be brought,
by you,
my friend.

written by Shadow, for me, shortly after we met

It's been 3 years. I still miss you everyday.

Escapism

Illusions

Once upon a time...

Hush! It's only a tale

and happily ever after

naught but an empty promise

Silver knights in

enchanted castles

fair maidens, a quest

a sword, a dragon

Nothing but dreams

to weave beside the fire

As we grow old

and forget the fantasies

of childhood.

I wish I could remember mine.

If you're interested in reading more of my poetry, click the poetry label under this post. There's also a list of labels further down the right side of the page. Also, because I'm not comfortable doing this anywhere but here in my own space, I'm including links to both of my submissions at Poetry.com.
Temptation (my first entry)
Elegy (which can be rated also, even though it's not eligible for the big contest)

Poetry.com

I recently submitted a second piece to Poetry.com. This one isn't entered into the big contest, since only one entry per 6 month period is allowed. I don't care, I just threw it out there anyway. Here it is:

Elegy

Contemplating freedom

spread my wings, and fly

so far away, gone

leave this pain

behind

Embrace the next

world, turn away

from the emptiness

of my present, the

grief of my past and

the despair of my

future

Such fragile bonds to

hold me here

staring at nothing

with my blind eyes

I liked it, and I ran it past a friend who understands grieving for a spouse. We e-mailed back and forth this afternoon about dealing with this. I wish I could do something more to help him, but I know there is absolutely nothing that helps. I'm just so lucky I have T, Wenchy-woman and Dad. So, my hope is that my buddy is doing a little better at the moment and that he will remember that I care about him, good days, bad days, even pain-in-the-ass days. Hugs to ya. Lots of hugs. And always a willing ear to listen.

Desires and dreams

Dreaming

Days,

craving your touch

Nights,

burning in your arms

Dreaming

of your embrace

Dawn wakes me

and you vanish like

a mist, leaving only

a haunting melody

a whispering sigh

to remember you

And I lie here alone

praying for night

Wondering if my dream lover

will find me again.

Free will

Choices

I bound my soul in

this prison of flesh

My choice to wear these chains

And now, contrary child, I

search for freedom

Release me

Loose my soul wings, I need

to fly again

Climb so high only to

dive and climb again

I strain against this

cord, strangling

my life and remember

to my shame, I

chose this

Shameless

Okay, normally, I am not the type to do this, but I can't help myself this time. Recently, I submitted one of my poems, Temptation, to poetry.com. I've been getting e-mails from them the last couple of weeks. The first one was a notification that I had been chosen as a Poet Fellow for 2007, and inviting me to join the Poet Fellows Society. And of course, I could purchase the pin and medal commemorating this event. I kinda shook my head, and thought "Yeah, whatever" and went on with my day. A day later, I got an e-mail saying Temptation had been selected to receive the Editor's Choice Award, and my poem would be in the next anthology. They also want to include it on the CD set. Again, I shook my head and did a "yeah, whatever". Poetry.com sent me the same e-mail a second time, then sent another one about getting a plaque and offering membership in the International Society of Poets.
Today, when I went to the mailbox, I found a letter from Poetry.com. They are definitely publishing my poem in an anthology. According to the letter, the anthology Immortal Verses will be available in winter 2008. I am also moving forward a step in the competition. So now I am excited. This is the first time I have ever submitted something I wrote, so this is a big deal to me. If you want to read what I submitted, click here. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting in my chair, grinning. :D

Nobody ever said it was fair!

No One Gets Out Alive

A toss of the dice

The gods, rolling bones

As always, I lose

Place your bets

Play the game and

Take your chances

With Fate

Damn! Snake eyes

Better luck next time, pretty lady

So you ride the Wheel again

Always choosing

Always gambling

The ultimate game

Life

Just remember...

The gods cheat!

Visions and dreams

This Burning Soul

Walk to my pyre proudly

Wearing my crown of fire and thorns

To be free of this ice

I have seached a thousand

years for this beginning

Flames rise behind my eyes

Serpent of fire

writhing in my soul

Flame of glory

burn away this prison of flesh

You see this burning soul

Don't pity me

I have found the secret

To burn is all I desire.

It's that time of year again

Paean

The land welcomes me

Earth Mother opens Her

arms to embrace this child

Life follows Her

rhythms and by Her

we are blessed

from the Goddess we

come and to Her we

shall return

Life to Life and

back again.

Maybe this piece would be more appropriate for Spring, but truthfully, I needed the reminder that Autumn is an important part of the cycle. Harvest, celebrate, and get ready to rest for winter. Honor those who are gone, and look toward renewal. It's not here yet, but everyday it's closer. You can't have life without death, harvest without planting. Autumn and winter are necessary for spring and summer. Besides, who can resist crunching through piles of leaves and lighting bonfires?

time doesn't heal, you just become accustomed

Relict

The light has fled, your eyes are dim

my own are blind in sorrow

Heart bled dry, no tears remain

This pain too great for me to bear

Grief a burden I cannot endure

Your love was my light

your life the sun of my world

Now I live in the darkness of your death

Clinging to the shadows and shades

I search for some glimmer of you

a reason to continue my journey

and I find nothing.

Temptation

Your voice steals through

my soul

luring me from twilight dreams

Offering yourself to ease

my pain

Do you even understand

this seduction you play?

No games, no rules

no safety, no promises

Just the hint

of change, the idea

of passion, the chance

of peace

And if I accept, will you own

me, body and soul?

If so, will I like it?

memories are hell

Inspired

One long kiss

I can taste

me on his mouth

and then

Hands pinned above my head

thighs 'round his waist

ah, god, incredible

skin so thin

I convulse as he breathes

mouth open, no breath to scream

and then

I hear my voice

begging, pleading for that

one little bite, that

sharp taste of pain to

make the pleasure all the sweeter

and I know it will send me

screaming, falling off the edge of the world

and then

hands along my body

lifting, turning

flipping me on my belly

so it begins again.

Yeah, I wrote that, for my husband, couple of years after we got married. He loved it. I still miss him, and I miss what we were together.