And this is what I hate...

about Facebook. The people who pop up and want to friend you that you'd really rather not know are still walking the earth. Or at least don't care one way or the other.
I'm trying to decide what to do about a message I received today. One of those hey-are-you-who-I-think-you-are messages. From someone I last spoke to about 12 years ago, someone who decided to take sides in my divorce from the Gimp. Obviously, it wasn't my side. Also, obviously the side taking wasn't done nicely, nor did the friendship end well. But end it did. So, I accepted that decision (not gracefully, no, but what 20-something is graceful in the midst of divorce?) and moved on. I haven't actually thought of this person in about 10 years.
And, now completely out of the clear blue I get a message from this guy. My first reaction is why? What possible reason could he have for looking me up this far down the road? Really, what need is there? I certainly haven't felt the need to reconnect. Why would this man decide to contact a former friend he ditched so long ago? Is it an attempt to resurrect a long buried friendship? If so, I can't imagine that going well. The relationship has been dead over a decade. While it may no longer carry the stench of decay, it's certainly not something I want to see shambling around like a reanimated corpse. And then there's the whole question of is it a squishy zombie with the bulging, pus-dripping eyeballs or a dried up zombie, leathery and raisin-eyed? Neither of those is at all appealing.
So, I'm trying to figure out exactly what my response will be. Obscene rejection, dignified fuck you or no response of any kind. I'm leaning more towards no response, simply because I have the sneaking suspicion this will be a squishy one. One little poke and it will explode, spraying rotten bowels and maggots everywhere. Not really a clean up job I'd volunteer for.

btw - there is no doubt in my mind he knows exactly who i am, i have 2 very unusual last names. so unusual that i am the only person by one of those last names in the entire state. not to mention, i look almost exactly the same as i did then, at least as far as i can judge going by photos. so beyond the why bother of reconnecting, there is the why be coy issue. i despise coy.

naming God (as an accomplice)

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a problem with religion. It's not that I don't believe in God or that I hate all religious stuff. I just don't like the way most religious groups preach one thing and do another. Like tolerance. Saying "love thy neighbor" doesn't mean a whole lot when you are bad mouthing the neighbor because they aren't "real" christians.
Part of my problem is that I just have no appreciation for fanaticism. Whether it's of the tight-lipped, judgemental kind or the wild-haired, eye-rolling martyr type, I pretty much lose interest about the point some yahoo tells me they heard it straight from God's mouth. Somehow I have a hard time believing God is all that interested in talking to some freeze-dried whackaloon.
Reading the news this morning, I ran across this article. Basically, this little 11 year old girl in Wisconsin died because her parents believed it was better to pray over her than take her to a doctor. She had a treatable form of diabetes, which apparently went undiagnosed. Even though she had been showing signs of serious illness for over a month according to family and friends, her parents thought they should just hold fast in their faith and everything would be okay. I read the article and even watched the video. During the video, pieces of two 911 calls are played. The one from the aunt was awful. The aunt seemed sure the mother would fight EMS over taking the daughter to the hospital. Then I read this article, which was an interview with some so-called man of God about his interaction with the family. He had apparently spoken to the parents as they rode behind the ambulance transporting their comatose daughter. I'll just paste the bit that pissed me off:

In the call Sunday, "they told me that she had stopped breathing and asked if I would pray that The Lord would spare her and raise her up, which I did," he wrote. "I called on our prayer ministers and elders to pray for her too. "The next thing I heard from them was that they were being investigated,which is sad since they don't investigate the people who put their trust in doctors whose family members die by the hundreds of thousands from medical mistakes every year, according the AMA's own admission. "We know that the doctors do the best they can with what they have and we do not condemn them. We would like the same consideration."

Umm, excuse me?? This moron is comparing his mouthing of pleas and platitudes with the work of a doctor who knows how to treat the disease the girl had. How on earth these dummies think their prayers are on the same level as actual treatment just floors me. Sorry, prayers and faith are great but THEY ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL MEDICAL INTERVENTION! Pray all you want while the doctors are giving your kid medicine. Just don't leave out the part where you take the kid to the doctor. As far as I'm concerned the parents are guilty of criminal negligence, that freak preacher is guilty of encouraging (or demanding, depending on his preaching) same and now the adults who should have been taking care of this kid are trying to blame God. That's right, I said blame. None of them are taking responsibility. None of them are saying "Yes, I decided not to take Madeline to the doctor when she got sick. I decided she didn't need medicine, just prayer. I denied Madeline medical care and she died because I decided to pray instead of use my God-given common sense." Not one of these adults has stepped forward and admitted their decisions were this little girl's primary cause of death. Nope, instead they are all saying "We prayed for her" "We did the best we could do" "We stayed fast in prayer" "Our lives are in God's hands" . So, in other words, they are saying it isn't their fault this little girl died from a treatable condition (diabetes), she died because God wanted her to. Somehow, I have a problem believing that. God gave us brains and brains are for thinking, not filling up the space inside your skull to keep down the echoes. As far as the last sentence in the preacher's statement, about receiving the same consideration as doctors, I call BULLSHIT! He doesn't deserve any consideration, he deserves at the least a foot in the ass. He and the parents did not do the best they could, they didn't do anything (the parents weren't even the ones who called 911). Why should they receive any consideration, why does he think that his efforts were on par with what a doctor could have done? A doctor could have actually treated Madeline for diabetes. Instead, Madeline dies at the ripe old age of 11 and her parents and preacher pat themselves on the back for keeping the faith. That's not a miscarriage of justice, that's an abortion of truth. How much you wanna bet her parents are pro-lifers committed to saving unborn children? Too bad Madeline was already past the fetal stage.

imagine me rolling my eyes

I've been a bit scatter-brained lately, more so than usual. I don't know whether it's the time of year, everything that's been going on, or what, but I can't seem to get things done here lately. Not enough time, not enough energy. I have managed to read quite a few books, but then again, I can always find time and energy for books.
I haven't posted anything in a while (obviously!) but something happened today I just had to share. I get a lot of phone calls at the bookstore from people who want to know if we have a particular title in stock. Usually the caller asks what the store hours are during the same phone call. Usually calls like that take about 5 minutes. Today I had one that didn't go quite as usual. The caller definitely made my list.

Me: Book Nook, may I help you?
Her: Yeah, do y'all have a book called Killing Mockingbirds? Or whatever it is, I don't know.
Me: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee? (You wouldn't believe the variations I hear on that title, but I was pretty sure that was it)
Her: Yeah, I guess, whatever.
Me: Yes ma'am I have several copies
Her: Ok, what are y'all's hours? What time do you close and
what days are you open?
Me: 9:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Saturday
Her: Are y'all open on Sunday?
Me: No
Her: Ok, so y'all are open right now, today until 6
Me: Yes

And then she hung up. So I went to help a customer and while I was talking to that customer the phone rang again. It had only been about 6 or 7 minutes since that phone call.

Me: Book Nook, may I help you?
Her: Uh, yeah I just called about that book How to Kill with
Mockingbirds and you said you had one.
Me: Yes ma'am
Her: Are you still open, you said you were open till 6
Me: Yes, we're open until 6 today. (It was about 5:20)
Her: Well you're open till 6. Is someone gonna be there?
Me: Ma'am?
Her: I'm sending my kid to get a copy, and I just wanted to make sure somebody was gonna be there in a few minutes since y'all are open until 6
Me: Yes ma'am I will be here until 6
Her: Ok so you'll be there? I mean I don't want to send him if you aren't there when he gets there.
Me: We close at 6, I'll be here until 6. At 6, I'm locking up and leaving. So as long as he gets here before 6, I'll be here.
Her: Ok I just wanted to make sure someone would be there until 6

I had to laugh after I hung up. I really, really wanted to tell her that even though the store was open until 6, no one would be there. She could just come in and get her book. And make sure to leave her money on the counter. The customer who was in the store overheard my side of the conversation and by the time I got off the phone she was laughing her ass off. The best part? When the kid came in to pick up the book, I recognized him. His mom (the one who called) is the stepdaughter (from a previous marriage) of the woman my dad is now married to. I'm just thankful there's no actual blood relation.

Don't ask, don't tell

I have a few pet peeves. (Only a few??? Well, only a few I'll admit having, anyway.) One of them is the phrase "How you doing?"
When did "How you doing?" become an acceptable substitute for "May I help you?" I hate trying to figure out if the kid working the drive thru is ready to take my order or attempting to stall me while trying to figure out how to work the register. If I go ahead with my order, the kid asks me to repeat it. If I wait, I get a huffy sigh and "Go ahead with your order" in a snotty tone.
The other most common usage of "How you doing?" seems to be in response to "May I help you?" If someone walks in the bookstore, I usually say "Hi, is there something I can help you find?" Most common response is "How you doing?" AAAAGGGHHH! I hate it. I was taught that it was extremely rude to respond to a question with a question, unless clarification was needed. And I really don't think these people actually care about how I'm doing, they just seem to feel the need to speak without thinking.
I usually ignore the question when I'm having a bad day. Since I don't like to lie, giving a truthful answer isn't a good idea. If you don't care, don't ask. If I don't answer, move on. Don't repeat the question at increasing volume.
I'm not even going to comment on rules of grammar and how they apply.
The only time I ever ask someone how they are doing is when I actually care about the answer. In other words, I have to like you or be concerned about you to ask. The rest of the time, I don't ask because, frankly, my dear I don't give a damn.

Bad choices - but at least they provide amusement to others

I always wondered why people vandalize property. Especially when the vandal does something like spray painting their full name across the back of the police station. Somebody got dropped on his head too many times as a child. This one was a little different. If the police ever catch this guy, the attempts to identify him and prove his guilt are sure to be entertaining.
The second story is about yet another man caught in a public display of affection. His chosen love interest, however, was a mannequin. Personally, I think this one is the fault of the security guard, who should have respected a closed door.
The Smoking Gun has some of the most entertaining mug shots I've ever seen. Speaking of poor decision making skills, these folks' problems apparently started well before their arrests.

This last one sounded like a great idea. Anyone who has had to endure some of the spelling and grammar atrocities so prevalent today will probably cheer these guys on every step.

This is the closest I get to real news

Remember when I said I am rarely serious? I was telling the gods' honest truth. The links in this post are about as close as I get to real news. My fellow d-hallers hopefully will appreciate the humor.

• I really think Lola and Wade should enter this contest. I wonder if the judges allow assless chaps. At least boxers are on the approved apparel list!
• This is for everyone who finds Google ads amusing. It's not about the ads themselves, but I did wonder what would happen if the glitch moved from matching photos with stories to matching ads to websites. I can only imagine stripper pole ads appearing on a conservative religious site. And Mishee, the word algorithms only appears once, but it's plural so does it count as more than one instance?
• After a discussion about coffee earlier today, I ran across a story about coffee condoms. I wonder if they come in New Orleans Blend Dark Roast?
• Criminals with sex toys? Not sure I want more details about why the appliance was tethered to the guy.
• Now this is what I call ironic. If you are such an asshole that even other assholes condemn you, maybe you should just stay home.

Okay, I'm done for the night. I have a really great book waiting for me. I'd like to at least start Laurell Hamilton's A Lick of Frost before bedtime. Or maybe not.

Excuse me while I vent

Tips for making your book shopping a more enjoyable experience:

1. Money goes in your wallet, not your bra, shoe, or the inside pocket of your workout shorts. I really don't want to touch any cash you have unearthed from some crevice on your body. If you withdraw funds from the First National Bank of Titty, I'm going to lay a napkin on the counter and tell you to put your money on that. I'm not going to touch it with bare skin. If you carry your money in your pocket and your job involves heavy sweating, wrap the money in a baggie, for god's sake!
2. Don't be a jerk. Pissing off the person who decides which books you can get trade credit on is a bad idea. Being nasty to the only person working is a guaranteed way to insure the minimum level of service. There are ways to be polite while not being helpful, and anyone who works in a store knows every way there is. Also, abusive language is a no-no, since Boss Lady says we can refuse service to people who go that route.
3. Don't bring in trash. We don't give credit for books with missing covers, loose pages, stains or nasty odors. Throw them away. If the book is old but not antique, we probably don't want it. If we can't sell the book to another customer, you aren't going to get credit for it. And don't argue or get mad because we won't take your junk. See tip #2.
4. Don't bring in your pets. We are not Pet Smart or Toys R Us. If you can't keep an eye on the dog or kids, leave them at home. If your pet makes a mess, clean it up. If I have to clean up your mess, I'm going to let you know about it.
5. Don't be an idiot. If you ask a question, listen to the answer. Third aisle on the left is not the same as second aisle on the right. If you wanted Woodiwiss and you're looking at Clancy, you weren't paying attention. Also, please have some idea of what you want before you come in. Never ask for "that weight loss book on TV" without having a little more info on it. Title, author or ISBN.
6. Don't pretend to be Boss Lady's best friend. I've already met her family and several of her friends. I know who is on her list of preferred customers. Trying to intimidate me into giving you a discount because you know my boss isn't going to work. Telling me "Dorie always did it" doesn't work either. First, Dorie doesn't work here anymore. Second, I asked Dorie and she said she never did that for you. So now you look like a liar, and a bad one at that.
7. Say thank you once in a damned while. If you spent an hour hunting down some off-the-wall book for someone you would expect them to say thanks. If you don't show at least a little appreciation, chances are the next time you come in no one will be willing to put any extra effort out for you.

My favorite customer today was the Seattle guy who heard me muttering "god, I need a cigarette" and told me he would take a break from shopping to go smoke with me. Mark goes on the list for the same reason. Reva, Mz Pitbull and Mrs. Lily always say thanks. Those ladies are wonderfully fun, courteous customers. Most of the rest need to shape the hell up.

Now I feel better.

clutching patience in both hands

I work at a small book store. Normally, I love my job, but some days.....
This is an actual telephone call I received a few days ago:

Me: Book Nook. May I help you?
Him: Is this a book store?
Me: Yes, sir.
Him: Are y'all open?
Me: Yes, sir.
Him: Do you have a book?
Me: Yes, sir, we have many books. Did you have a particular one in mind?
Him: Well, I need a book.
Me: What book?
Him: I don't know the name, or who wrote it. I think it has apocalypse in the name.
Me: Sir, I need the title, author's name, or ISBN. Can you give me any more information?
Him: Can't you just look up apocalypse?
Me: I can, but apocalypse as a keyword brings up over 800 entries. And that's just what's currently in print. Can you remember anything else?
Him: Well, they wrote down the name of the man that wrote it, but I don't know how to say it.
Me: Oh, you have the author's name. Just spell it out for me then.
Him: C-R-O-U-C-H
Me: Crouch. Okay, I can search for books by someone named Crouch.
Him: I don't know how to say it.
Me: That's okay, you gave me the spelling. And here it is, I found a listing for Shadow of the Apocalypse by Paul Crouch. Sound like what your looking for?
Him: Maybe, but I don't know if that's how you say his name.
Me: Sir, would you like me to order this title for you? We don't have one in stock, but I can have it in a few days, and you can decide then if it is the one you want.
Him: Maybe, I guess.

After several minutes more, he finally ordered the book. I told him it would be in Friday afternoon, after 3 p.m. He started calling Friday morning about 10 to see if his book was in.
I left out all the ums, ahs, and you knows he used. Also, the long pauses while he looked for stuff. It was really frustrating while it happened, but after I got off the phone the whole situation became funny. At least until some guy walked in ten minutes later and said "So, is this a bookstore?" I said no, and walked off.

I'm starting a list of people who are just TSTL. He's the first one on it, but you can bet he won't be the last