clutching patience in both hands

I work at a small book store. Normally, I love my job, but some days.....
This is an actual telephone call I received a few days ago:

Me: Book Nook. May I help you?
Him: Is this a book store?
Me: Yes, sir.
Him: Are y'all open?
Me: Yes, sir.
Him: Do you have a book?
Me: Yes, sir, we have many books. Did you have a particular one in mind?
Him: Well, I need a book.
Me: What book?
Him: I don't know the name, or who wrote it. I think it has apocalypse in the name.
Me: Sir, I need the title, author's name, or ISBN. Can you give me any more information?
Him: Can't you just look up apocalypse?
Me: I can, but apocalypse as a keyword brings up over 800 entries. And that's just what's currently in print. Can you remember anything else?
Him: Well, they wrote down the name of the man that wrote it, but I don't know how to say it.
Me: Oh, you have the author's name. Just spell it out for me then.
Him: C-R-O-U-C-H
Me: Crouch. Okay, I can search for books by someone named Crouch.
Him: I don't know how to say it.
Me: That's okay, you gave me the spelling. And here it is, I found a listing for Shadow of the Apocalypse by Paul Crouch. Sound like what your looking for?
Him: Maybe, but I don't know if that's how you say his name.
Me: Sir, would you like me to order this title for you? We don't have one in stock, but I can have it in a few days, and you can decide then if it is the one you want.
Him: Maybe, I guess.

After several minutes more, he finally ordered the book. I told him it would be in Friday afternoon, after 3 p.m. He started calling Friday morning about 10 to see if his book was in.
I left out all the ums, ahs, and you knows he used. Also, the long pauses while he looked for stuff. It was really frustrating while it happened, but after I got off the phone the whole situation became funny. At least until some guy walked in ten minutes later and said "So, is this a bookstore?" I said no, and walked off.

I'm starting a list of people who are just TSTL. He's the first one on it, but you can bet he won't be the last