Christmas in Louisiana

Happy Holidays!

Well, I was going to post some stories, but I've changed my mind. I'm feeling rather sweet for the moment. I've spent most of the day with T, visiting his mom. I'm still a bit bubbly, so instead of telling stories about work I think I'll do this instead. My favorite thing about Christmas is the music. I don't think any other type of music manages to cause tears and laughter simultaneously quite as well as any carol does. I'm not particularly religious but I love Christmas carols. So I wanted to share one of my favorites

Hope everyone has a great time celebrating! Peace, love and joy to y'all

Fruitcake never gets stale

We are so busy at the store I don't have time to breathe, much less think about anything besides the next thing I have to do. Still, sometimes stuff just sticks in my head. Like this:

Most Useless Purchase:
The elderly lady who bought Cliff Notes. First off, she asked me for "that book, you know, I think it was a love story, by Dan Tees. Someone told me about it a long time ago, must have been several years, and I want to read it. It's something about heaven and it's a funny love story." I finally figured out she meant Dante's Divine Comedy, but she had only ever heard of the first part, "the one about the fires." I figured that meant Inferno, so I told her we didn't have a copy on hand and I could order one for her. She said no, she really didn't want to read the whole book, was there a movie or a short version? Her grandchild told her there was a short version of all of those books, some kind of notes some people made. Yep, she wanted Cliff Notes for Inferno. While she was paying for that, she told me she wanted to know what the book was about, but she didn't feel like wasting all that time reading it. WTF??? She is so going on my list.

Free Advice for Drivers:

• Everyone here drives like a maniac, an idiot or an asshole. Get used to it. Your best bet is to figure out the most common habits and join in. Really, it's safer that way.
• Learn how a four way intersection with stop signs works. Hey, you're out in the boonies, we don't have many traffic lights in the woods. Please don't just sit at the intersection for 10 minutes. Racing through it without stopping isn't a good idea either, someone is gonna get hurt. Probably you.
• If you don't drive more than once a month the rest of the year, Christmas is not a good time to change. Call someone for a ride, walk, or stay your ass home. I watched some guy in a land barge block three lanes of traffic yesterday. On Main Street at noon. Trying to turn left as he came out of a parking lot. People got just a little upset.
• Shortcuts are not a good idea unless you are native to the area. Trust me on this.
• Low slung little sports cars are cute and fun to drive. However, they are a really, really bad idea for holidays in the country. They just don't work on gravel roads. There are potholes on these back roads you could lose a cow in, and that's during a dry spell. After two days of rain, those holes will swallow a car and look for seconds. Hope you kept up your AAA membership, you're gonna need it.

Favorite Holiday Music:
Every year, I have a different favorite. Last year it was Aaron Neville's Soulful Christmas. This year I'm enjoying Have a Merry South Louisiana Christmas. Various Louisiana artist singing genuine swamp pop Christmas carols. Think zydeco meets Bing Crosby, then throw in some blues, a dash of country and a pinch of rock. Like gumbo for your ears. This is a great album to listen to in the car. Turn it up and sing your heart out. The song that has stuck in my mind the most this year isn't on the album. I love Ray Charles' duet with Betty Carter Baby, It's Cold Outside. Not really a Christmas song, but perfect for winter and wonderful to hear anytime. Those two were artists and it shows. Here, have a listen

Ok, I'm ready for some cocoa and cookies now. Hugs to y'all.

O come all ye fruitcakes

Holidays bring out the best in people. And by best, I mean crazy as a cracked-out road lizard. Working in a book store sounds like a nice, quiet job, doesn't it?

I'm working on a list of Memorable Holiday Moments to post.

Creepiest Christmas Memory:
This happened at the very beginning of the holiday season. I was shelving some used paperbacks in the back of the store when I heard a guy say "Man, you smell good!" I turned around and there is a complete stranger standing behind me, sniffing. I guess my expression must have clued him in to how shocked I was, since he mumbled something and left. Hasn't been back either, so that's one Christmas gift checked off the list.

Most Amusing Customer:
The brunette who bought John Folse's After the Hunt cookbook for her in-laws. She said her FIL was an enthusiastic hunter so he would love the book. On the other hand, her MIL was going to be angry, since MIL would think getting a cookbook was an insult. "She's a terrible cook, but she doesn't know it. She thinks everything she cooks is delicious. So she will think I am saying she is a bad cook, which she totally is. I'm a good cook and I would love to get this book. She's a horrible cook and she won't even appreciate getting this." I asked her if her MIL was really that bad. Her reply: "She put mayonnaise in her lasagna once. She said she ran out of cheese and some other stuff so she just added mayo instead." Glad I don't have to eat Christmas dinner at that house!

I've got a few more stories and I'm sure with 5 days left 'til Christmas I'll have others to add.

All I want for Christmas...

Is a new hobby for T. Pyromania is no longer an option.
About 10 days before Thanksgiving, T tore his rotator cuff. We found out today the surgery won't be until the end of January. Followed by 6 weeks of immobilization and then therapy. He's going to be home for 2 or 3 more months.
Saturday I came home from work to see the driveway on fire. T decided he didn't like grass growing in the driveway, but instead of cutting it, he thought it would be better to burn it. So he raked all of the leaves and pine straw in the yard into neat piles on either side of the driveway, doused them and lit up. When I pulled up, he was standing between two lines of flames, grinning. I asked how the hell I was supposed to park my car and he says "Just drive through it." At least he was enjoying himself.
T works on pipelines, so most of the year he is on the road. Out of the last 12 months, he's been home maybe 30 days. I love seeing him, but after 48 hours of not working he is bored and looking for something to do. Somehow that ends up being whatever is going to inconvenience or upset me the most. Usually, it involves dousing something and setting it on fire. The patio, a stump which smoldered for a month, old papers he didn't think I needed and now the driveway. You name it, he's probably torched it.
Last night, he complained that my books and papers were scattered all over the house and offered to help me organize them. I'm praying I don't go home to a bonfire tonight.

He really, really needs a new hobby. One that is not going to aggravate the shoulder injury, but doesn't require him to sit still and be quiet. Any suggestions are welcome.
Or contributions to my legal defense fund.

Relaxing day

We spent the afternoon at my brother's house. The older brother with 4 kids. Lots of fun, lots of noise, lots of food.
What do you get when you mix 3 kids, 2 adults, 1 puppy and 2 Frisbees? Loads of fun, belly laughs, tackle and tickle fights, and sweat! I am beat but so relaxed. The Barbarian Horde always boosts my mood. T and I played with the Horde, my SIL and I cooked (she cooked, I watched), T and Brother sighted in a gun and we all had a great time.
Wonderful way to spend a sunny, warm (80 degrees) Sunday in December!

Exercising self control

Some days that is very, very difficult. A month or so ago, Boss Lady tells me that she won't be hiring any help for the holiday season. Oh yay. Last year, it took three of us and we were still overwhelmed. This year it's gonna be me and her, and she is busy with a baby and other stuff. So really, it will be/has been mostly me. No wonder I'm so loopy lately.
The day before Thanksgiving, she tells me I have a four day weekend because I won't get anymore time off until after New Year's Day. Of course, she waited until I was leaving for the day to tell me, as usual. She always waits until one of us is leaving to tell me something like this. Usually, she waits until 6 p.m. on Thursday to tell me I have Friday off because she will be out of town on Saturday. I've had to cancel plans a lot.
Yesterday, about 5:50 p.m. Boss Lady says something about being free Saturday since I would be working. First I'd heard that I was supposed to work Saturday. I told her I had already made plans so I couldn't be there. I said I could work Friday. She tells me she has stuff to do Saturday morning. The end result: I work Friday all day and half of Saturday. She says she'll be in around lunch time. Last time she said that, I didn't see her until 3 p.m. So today I reminded her that I needed to leave around midday tomorrow. She apparently was confused and thought I was working tomorrow afternoon. I'm pretty sure it's all straightened out now, but I guess I'll know for sure tomorrow morning.
Back to the holiday thing. Boss Lady told me she was planning to have two girls she knows help out. Mind you, neither knows how to use a register, look up books on the computer, calculate trade credits or what books go in which sections. So the only thing either of them can do is shelve books that I've stamped, sorted and placed on the appropriate aisles. Oh, and gift wrap. I've been waiting for these two kids to show up and I haven't seen them yet.
Today, I found out why I haven't seen the girls. Because they aren't coming. Both of them are too busy with school and other stuff. Boss Lady says neither will be able to help at all, probably not even with end of year inventory. Wonderful.
The last thing she told me today? "Don't forget, I'll be gone Tuesday through Friday of next week." But she is going to call someone and see if they can come at least one day next week and give me a hand, at least for part of the day. Thanks, really.

I really love my job, and Boss Lady isn't that bad. She just has a very unusual view of time. I suppose it could be worse, I do get that discount on all my books and anything else she decides to stock. I guess it all evens out. Eventually.
Pretty sure she is not going to be thrilled when I remind her that I will need a few days off for T's surgery. Which still hasn't been scheduled.

Update: When I got to the store on Saturday, Boss Lady had been there since 8. She fooled with stock and paper work for a while and I shelved and waited on customers. It was so dead I was able to catch up on shelving and do some other stuff. There were 3 Christmas parades in the area scheduled between 10 and 2, one of which was right down the street. Which meant that very little traffic passed. I think we had less than a dozen customers in 2 hours. So at 12:30 Boss Lady told me I could leave. Really, what was the point of making me get out of bed to work 3 hours? At least I had the afternoon off to go out to eat with T.

One damned thing after another

Let's see if I can do this. First, there was Thanksgiving. The Barbarian Horde decided to play football about 8 p.m. Since they didn't have enough barbarians for even one full team, it turned into Tackle Tag fairly quickly. I had a blast watching them, only took a few pics, I was laughing too hard. Here's one:Then it was Shadow's birthday on Nov 28th. Then T's birthday on Dec 1st. My dad's birthday is Dec 4th. Some of my family got together for Dad's birthday, and I took a few pictures. This one is my younger brother (aka Toothpick), his girlfriend and her son. My dad and his wife, the same day. Continuing the birthdays, Sarge is today, AC was yesterday, Toothpick is the 15th, Wes is the 18th, JJ is the 25th......I know I missed someone, I just can't remember who it is. In the midst of all of this, I am trying to get ready for Christmas, working waaay too many hours, and dealing with T. He has a torn rotator cuff which requires surgery. Soon. So, he is home for a while, with nothing to do. That's a bad thing. The gods only know what he will decide to fill his time with, but I can guarantee it's going to be unexpected. I'm just hoping he doesn't decide to reorganize my books again.
Just for grins, I thought I would include this picture to prove there are advantages to living in the boonies. This is part of my route to work: Pretty nice, huh? I think I am one of the few people who enjoys driving to work. When I compare my commute to my friends' all I can do is smile. I get to speed down empty back roads lined with trees and you guys get wall-to-wall, bumper-to-bumper traffic. It takes me 20 minutes to go 23 miles. Plus, I see things like hawks sitting on power lines and deer meandering across the road. By the way, there is so little traffic that I was able to park my car and stand in the middle of the road to take that picture.

One last thing. For fellow PAN fiends, here's my latest ugly chef sighting. Found this in Hell-mart and then tried to explain why I was giggling my head off to T. The funniest part was realizing that this is a FRENCH chef! Ugly chefs go international:Ok, I think I am as caught up as I can get. Maybe I will be able to find some time to actually post something good, but I am not counting on it.

Poetry.com

I recently submitted a second piece to Poetry.com. This one isn't entered into the big contest, since only one entry per 6 month period is allowed. I don't care, I just threw it out there anyway. Here it is:

Elegy

Contemplating freedom

spread my wings, and fly

so far away, gone

leave this pain

behind

Embrace the next

world, turn away

from the emptiness

of my present, the

grief of my past and

the despair of my

future

Such fragile bonds to

hold me here

staring at nothing

with my blind eyes

I liked it, and I ran it past a friend who understands grieving for a spouse. We e-mailed back and forth this afternoon about dealing with this. I wish I could do something more to help him, but I know there is absolutely nothing that helps. I'm just so lucky I have T, Wenchy-woman and Dad. So, my hope is that my buddy is doing a little better at the moment and that he will remember that I care about him, good days, bad days, even pain-in-the-ass days. Hugs to ya. Lots of hugs. And always a willing ear to listen.