Don't ask, don't tell

I have a few pet peeves. (Only a few??? Well, only a few I'll admit having, anyway.) One of them is the phrase "How you doing?"
When did "How you doing?" become an acceptable substitute for "May I help you?" I hate trying to figure out if the kid working the drive thru is ready to take my order or attempting to stall me while trying to figure out how to work the register. If I go ahead with my order, the kid asks me to repeat it. If I wait, I get a huffy sigh and "Go ahead with your order" in a snotty tone.
The other most common usage of "How you doing?" seems to be in response to "May I help you?" If someone walks in the bookstore, I usually say "Hi, is there something I can help you find?" Most common response is "How you doing?" AAAAGGGHHH! I hate it. I was taught that it was extremely rude to respond to a question with a question, unless clarification was needed. And I really don't think these people actually care about how I'm doing, they just seem to feel the need to speak without thinking.
I usually ignore the question when I'm having a bad day. Since I don't like to lie, giving a truthful answer isn't a good idea. If you don't care, don't ask. If I don't answer, move on. Don't repeat the question at increasing volume.
I'm not even going to comment on rules of grammar and how they apply.
The only time I ever ask someone how they are doing is when I actually care about the answer. In other words, I have to like you or be concerned about you to ask. The rest of the time, I don't ask because, frankly, my dear I don't give a damn.

Monday morning marathon (of silly tests)

Some of my friends over at PAN were busy this morning. By the time I checked, they had taken all of these tests and posted their results there. Since I'm late, I'll put all of my results here. (Truthfully, I'm once again being lazy!)

You Are Not Destined to Rule the World

You are destined for something else... Like inventing a new type of cupcake. You just don't have the stomach for brutality. But watch out - because many people do!

Are You Destined For World Domination?

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English 40% Dixie 5% Yankee 0% Midwestern 0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

You Are 60% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Charming Executor of Sacrifices. Where You Lived: Romania. How You Died: Hung for treason.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Your IQ Is 125

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

I think that was all of them. Thanks Rose, Glo, Wade and Amy for the giggles and grins.
BTW, I won't be bouncing around much for a while. T's surgery is the 31st, and Dad's is the 30th. I'm just a little stressed right now, worrying about both of them and trying to get things done before then.

Escapism

Illusions

Once upon a time...

Hush! It's only a tale

and happily ever after

naught but an empty promise

Silver knights in

enchanted castles

fair maidens, a quest

a sword, a dragon

Nothing but dreams

to weave beside the fire

As we grow old

and forget the fantasies

of childhood.

I wish I could remember mine.

If you're interested in reading more of my poetry, click the poetry label under this post. There's also a list of labels further down the right side of the page. Also, because I'm not comfortable doing this anywhere but here in my own space, I'm including links to both of my submissions at Poetry.com.
Temptation (my first entry)
Elegy (which can be rated also, even though it's not eligible for the big contest)

Something for Monday morning blahs

Remember when I said I like the funny tests you can find all over the internet? I liked these two so much I thought I'd share them.
These are my results and of course, the links to the test.




Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti
And, this one I found out about from Anglo (thanks!), so I've already shared these results. I'm gonna stick it on here anyway, just for grins!

Your Score: Lion Warning Cat

72% Affectionate, 51% Excitable, 24% Hungry

You are the good Samaritan of the lolcat world. Protecting others from danger by shouting observations and guidance in cases of imminent threat, you believe in the well-being of everyone.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku

One last one

The 2-Variable Intuition Test - I ended up with a higher percentage in the emotional intuition (62) than in the scientific (55). I didn't include the whole results thing because it uses a HUGE font, even bigger than the lolcat test. I hate the screamingly big font, but I can't figure out how to change it. So it's just gonna stay like that. Yep, I'm lazy. What? I warned ya.

Adding to the list

Not that list. This list.

Contestant #1: The guy who called about dictionaries yesterday. He really needed one, but only if I could tell him the price, binding and print size on every dictionary in stock. Umm, no. I told him he needed to come in and look them over himself. He said he only wanted to come in if we had "good" dictionaries. According to him, the only way to be sure a dictionary was good one was to check for the word "juggernaut". If I would just read out each dictionaries' definition of juggernaut, he could decide whether or not he wanted to buy one. The upside? I now know the man's entire name, home phone number, phone number of the place he's staying and his entire schedule for three days. Yeah, I'm gonna get back to him any minute now.

Contestant #2: Another male customer. I don't know what's going on with the guys around here, but it seems like the dumb-ass convention is in town. Yesterday the weather was god-awful. Major thunderstorm, rain like waterfalls. This guy walks in, looks at me and says, "That's some rain. I guess it's gonna be a little wet today." Ya think??? (No, I didn't say it. I thought it, but my self-control held.)

Last, but not least -
Contestant #3: The little old lady who walked up and down and aisle for 20 minutes, muttering and sighing. Finally, she stops and yells at me, "I can't find the Murder, She Wrote books. Come show me where they are." When I walked back to help her, I found her on the sci-fi aisle, staring at the Star Trek books. BTW, the lady is a regular customer, she comes in at least once a week.

New addiction

The first time I heard about Lolcats, my reaction was "Huh? What the hell?" Thanks to some buddies, I've now become addicted. It's gotten so bad, I made a few of my own today. Just cuz I could.

moar funny pictures

If you've ever watched Animaniacs, you know who I was thinking about. If not, go look it up.

I don't know why the whole picture doesn't show, but if you click it, it will.

Does the first post of the year set the tone?

In my case, probably not. Unless you count random thoughts and silliness. Anyway, I'm semi-recovered from the holidays. Now if Boss Lady will just stay in town and come in to the store occasionally, I'd be just fine.
Since I haven't posted in 2 weeks, I've got all sorts of stuff whirling around in my head. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a way to work everything in under a single topic. Owls, T, presents, barbarians, and theft. Just for starters. Nope, I just can't see a way to do it. So, before somebody starts making wild stories up to cover all those, I'll go ahead and throw it at ya.

Theft isn't usually amusing, especially to someone in retail. We really, really hate shoplifters. And of course, the holidays are wonderful opportunities for the sticky-fingered. Boss Lady was pissed, steam coming out of her ears, when she realized someone had stolen a couple of hardback books the Saturday before New Year's. I just tried very hard not to laugh, since I didn't want Boss Lady to go off on me. But really, it struck me as funny. This woman stole Nelson's New Illustrated Bible Commentary and Halley's Bible Handbook. Somehow, I don't think reading religious material you stole will win you any points with Jeebus. "For it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay saith the Lord." Hey, is that ozone I smell? Just kidding!

Presents are good. I love getting presents. My Christmas present from T came in early and since he's the impatient type, I got it a few days before Christmas. Which left me without a Christmas present to open on Christmas Eve. T decided that needed to be fixed, so this is what I found when I came home from work Dec. 24th: Note to self: Don't let T play with the camera anymore.

Owls. Now where was I going with owls? Oh yeah, the owl incident. If you look back a bit, you'll see pics from my ride to work. Obviously, I'm out in the boonies. Coming home after dark on these back roads is always great fun. Deer, raccoons, opossums, rabbits and the other night an owl. It was late, I was going slow (for me anyway) and got the hell scared outta me. I came around a sharp curve, headed across a little bridge and thought a deer was about to run out of the bushes. Instead a HUGE frickin' owl swoops out of the trees on one side, down into the middle of the road and back up into the trees on the other side. My first thought: Oh shit, brakes!!! My second thought: What was THAT? A fucking pterodactyl? Boys and girls, real owls do not look like Big Mama from The Fox & The Hound! So, lesson learned, no more doing 75 m.p.h. at night on curvy little country roads.

Lastly, barbarians. I took the local members of the Horde their presents the day after Christmas. Everybody liked their books, even the mini-barbarian. Of course, little Genghis used his books to beat on the floor, his sister's head and any other handy surface. But, hey, what's a holiday without a minor concussion for your nearest and dearest? I wouldn't know how to handle it if we didn't have to take someone to the doctor every year.

That's little Genghis. Cute little monster, but of course I could be a wee bit biased. The arm belongs to his older brother, Porkchop. (And yeah, that's my voice, are ya happy now? You know who you are!) This vid may not stay up long, if I can figure out how to move the other one from the camera to the computer I intend to replace it. Enjoy it while it lasts.

OK, enough for me now. I'm tired and I have 5 more very long days to get through before Boss Lady gets back to town.