I didn't mean to...

Since somebody shared a little trip down memory lane involving reptiles, it got me thinking about my own memories. I once owned a red tailed boa named Cesar. I bought him from a 6' tall crazy burnout Alaskan chick. He had a few issues. Between the two of us, we managed to give the UPS guy a case of mental anguish.
When I was 18, I moved to Metairie. Way back then, I had a few bad habits. Like not wearing clothes once I got inside the apartment. And not worrying too much about answering the door bare assed naked if I knew who was on the other side. Everything was OK until the day I was waiting for my friend Russ to show up. When I heard someone knocking, I thought it was Russ so I just opened the door. It wasn't Russ. There stood the UPS guy, looking just a little suprised. But he was grinning, at least for the first 30 seconds. That brings me to the second (or third?) bad habit: letting Cesar the snake roam the apartment. See, I let him out when I was home alone. When I thought Russ was knocking, I picked Cesar up and draped him across my shoulders. He decided that he wanted to be wrapped around my head instead. I opened the door with a boa wrapped around my ponytail, his chin resting on my forehead. And then Cesar moved, the UPS guy realized the naked girl had a live snake on her head, and all hell broke loose. He screamed "It's alive", dropped the package, and took off at a dead run. Didn't even wait for me to sign for the package. The next time we got a package, some young guy brought it, said the previous guy told the boss he would never come back to the building even if they fired him. I started getting dressed to answer the door.
Sorry, UPS guy, where ever you are.