The tackiest gift I've ever given

It all started with an e-mail from Amy. One of those nickname ones. This one was stripper nicknames. Of course, once I figured mine out (no, I'm not telling), I passed it along to a few more friends. Because I'm sweet like that and I wanted to share the joy.

Mz Pitbull was one of the people I sent it to and she made the mistake of telling me her new stripper name. And since we are such good friends and I like her sooo much...

Ta - daaahh! Merry Christmas Montana Glitterthong!!

(Yep, that's her name written across the butt!)

And kids, you can't buy tacky like that. You gotta go to Wal-mart and get the fixins and put it together your ownself. Which is just what I did. One pair of shiny hot pink panties, 3 feet of beaded fringe, pink skull iron-on appliques and a whole bottle of silver glitter paint. Add a hot glue gun and voila! you got some serious tack goin' on. The only thing missing is feathers, but only because I couldn't find any.

God only knows what she'll come up with as revenge but whatever it is, this is worth it!

Christmas is coming!

Speeding at me like a derailed bullet train. (Do bullet trains derail? And if they do, do they keep going so fast? Eh, who cares, I like it so I'm using it.)

Anyways, I've been a bit Scroogey this year. Well, a lot Scroogey actually, but I'm working on it. Now if I can just figure out a way to make everyone cooperate...

Hello, is this the Acme Corporation? Yes, I'm interested in mind-control gadgets? You have them? Great! How powerful? Weeelll...
Oh. Nobody makes one powerful enough to handle last-minute shoppers and neurotic relatives?
Sigh. Now I'll have to think up something else for Santa to bring me.

At least I can listen to my all time favorite Christmas song without getting weird looks. People really do think you're strange if you sing carols in July. Especially this one:

Let it snow, Let it snow

It snowed! Not all that unusual for some people but definitely not the norm here in south Louisiana. It wasn't a lot and it didn't stay long but it was pretty fun while it lasted. And I got a day off from work out of it. *grin*

Skye, of course, was less than pleased with the whole ordeal. She wanted to go out for her morning walk. Until she realized that a walk involved actually stepping in that cold, wet stuff on the ground. Miss pampered, prissy princess decided at that point that no walk was worth getting her feet wet and back inside she went. She spent the rest of the day lying in front of the fire, sighing pitifully. I did eventually manage to convince her to go outBut she wasn't happy about it. She was outside maybe a minute when she came running back to me. Can you tell she was ready to go back in? I'm pretty sure she is even less of a fan of cold weather than I am. And yeah, I spent the entire day in jammies. Snowflake patterned jammies.

There's a squirrel at the end of that video that made me laugh. He went running out of my yard and then slid in the snow out into the road. Then he picked himself up, shook off and looked around like "Hmm, did anyone see that?"

Fun and not so fun

We went to the trade show in New Orleans this past Saturday. By we, I mean NewBossLady, MsPitbull and me. In NOLA. On a Saturday. At the Convention Center. Fucking yay. Wasn't too bad, traffic was crazy, but since I drove we made it in about 80 minutes. Yes I have a lead foot and a piss poor attitude behind the wheel. No I'm not a defensive driver. I prefer to think of myself as an offensive driver. And by offensive, I surely do mean shouting "You stupid fucking moron, park that piece of shit SUV and walk!" out of an open window. So that part was amusing, at least for me.
We get there and I discover the true meaning of hell. I have never seen so many women in one place at the same time in my life. It wasn't clouds of estrogen, it was a goddam smog, a sea of surging hormones. And Diet Coke.
It was fun though, once I got past all that. NBL and Pit are a blast to hang out with, we looked at some great stuff. This trade show had lots n lots n lots of jewelry. Lots. Of. Sparkly. Things. Also, cooking stuff, cleaning stuff, clothes (OMG I actually had to stop and look, some of the stuff was great. And I bought a shirt. The other two tried to talk me into a belly dancer's outfit but I had to draw the line somewhere), luggage, knickyknacks, you name it somebody was selling it. We bought a bunch of stuff for the store, took business cards to make appointments with vendors, looked at everything, touched most things and did a good bit of personal shopping.
Lessee, I bought jewelry for me, jewelry for T, clothing for me and the nieces and best of all knives. Umm, I bought 5 knives. 1 big ass blade as long as my forearm and 4 smaller ones. My favorite kind of sparkly stuff.

Today a jewelry guy came by the store to see NBL. Pit and I helped select some jewelry for the store and bought ourselves some sparklies of our very own. Nice to get stuff at cost and be able to help pick stuff out. Between the 3 of us we have a pretty wide range of tastes so lots of different kinds of things to play with now. I really liked this necklace, chunky pieces of smoky quartz. A little to big to suit me but I loved it.

We have been crazy busy but it's all been pretty fun. I like working in such a light hearted atmosphere. Other than the former crazy owner/boss lady (who has been renamed Satan's Psycho Cow) coming around everything has been great. The other ongoing problem is our main distributor for books. Their order site has been down since Saturday morning. So we are unable to look up or order books and our order has been delayed. yippee fun joy for me.
We are dealing with it but it does add a touch of aggravation to the day.

Anyway, I'm doing ok. I'm loving work, T came home this morning to spend Thanksgiving, I talked to both brothers and both parents in the last few days and everything is going well.

Oh, the not so fun? That was this evening. Turning into a total klutz. Tripping and falling down my stairs. Busting my knee and my face. The knee can be hidden under jeans but I think it's gonna be pretty hard to hide the humongous fat lip I've got. And the bruised chin. *sigh* Oh well, at least I didn't break my glasses.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my favorite Troublemakers! Hope y'all have a wonderful Thursday.

P.S. Pit brought me a can of coffee beans - the brand is Kicking Horse and it's the KickAss dark - anybody tried this stuff before? It smells good, I haven't tried it yet. Gotta love a friend who knows your weaknesses.

Skye's great, thanks dearhearts (you know who you are)

Thanks for caring, y'all are the bestest.
Skye's surgery was yesterday. So it was a get outta bed, throw on clothes mad rush to the vet's office before heading off to work. And waiting to hear back.

She did just fine. Spayed and two lumps removed. Kinda scary to find out that 2 lumps had come up in the short time since the last surgery. Definitely made me think I made the right choice.


I picked her up this morning (did the mad rush thing again). Had to leave her at home while I went to work, and of course I felt horribly guilty. I really don't think she cared though, since she was drugged outta her little head. Min-pin on pain meds, kinda funny akshully.


And yeah, I'm keeping her a little doped up because she is so damned hyper. When I came home tonight, she tried doing her usual dance routine. Never mind the 3 sets of stitches, happy dance is a must. So, another pain pill and another chew treat (as a distraction).


And I wanted to share this pic:

Yes, I left a note.

More time, dammit!

I need more hours in the day. I'm working 10 - 12 hour days, 6 days a week and still can't get everything done. AAAAHHH!!
Exhausted doesn't even begin to cover the state I'm in. I'm so tired I'm loopy and so wound up I can't sleep.
Yes, the store has been sold. The new owners took over last week. No, we are not completely rid of the schizoid former BL. I am setting up the new POS system, not getting call backs from tech support (lazy bastard assholes in AZ), handling customers, running errands and pretty much all the rest of it. The upside - new owners are MOST appreciative, incredibly nice and generous people. They brought me a coffee pot, have bought my meals, pay me on time, reimburse me when I use my money for store stuff and so forth. I hear "thank you" and "you are so wonderful" all day long. I'd forgotten how great it is to work with real decent human beings. I'm not even going to talk about all the shit the former BL has pulled in the last week. We aren't moving to the new location until after Christmas (whew!) and I've been asked my opinion on layouts, stock and pretty much everything else.

Skye's surgery is Nov 5th. Found another knot on her belly. All pre-op test results were good. She is fine and we are fairly optimistic.

Went to that wedding, had fun, saw my niece and nephew and some good friends, got my leg humped by Bonehead, kissed Big D and came home.

Took some pics I'll eventually get around to posting on flickr.

Trying to survive massive allergy/sinus attack caused by taking pictures of fall flowers.

I've made Halloween goodie bags for my babies and now I'm going to bed.

I'm still not married, still haven't set another date, still haven't gotten an oil change and missed garbage pickup this week. And I haven't even looked at the mail or bills or email or blogs or pretty much anything that wasn't work related or dire emergency. Amazing that with all of this I'm still usually in a good mood and enjoying the insanity. Yes, I really really really like my new bosses.

adenocarci -WHAT?

If you are one of those people who responds with "It's just a frickin' dog!" please go the hell away now. Really. Just go away. Cuz it's not just a dog, it's my dog. My 11 year old, incredibly cute, sweet as all get-out, been around longer than 2 husbands, dog.
Last summer I noticed Skye had a knot on her belly, right by a nipple. About the size of the tip of my thumb. Took her to the vet, had it removed and sent it off to LSU Vet School to be tested. Biopsy results: Benign tumor, completely contained within sample. Whew!
But it gave me the horrors so I kept an eye on things (honestly, I think the dog got more tit checks than I've ever given myself).
This August, two little pea-sized knots popped up, neither in the same place as the big one from last year. Back to the vet we go. Skye was not thrilled about the extra visit even if it did mean crunchy treats from Dr. Lisa. Doc was a bit concerned since the benign tumor, if it recurs, comes back in the same spot. We scheduled another surgery, which was a bit nerve wrecking considering Skye's age. She did fine other than expected soreness from 2 incisions. Sent those off to LSU and waited for biopsy results. And waited. And then got smacked by Gustav. And waited some more.
Finally, finally got results today. Dr. Lisa called me at work to give me the results. Adenocarcinoma. At least I think that's what she said. I went deaf right after she said malignant. Shit. She gave me the complete name and I can't remember it. Whatever the $50 name is, it's breast cancer.
The good (??) part is that the tumors were "completely contained within the samples submitted" according to the report. Also, this type is considered a Grade 1 malignancy (I guess that's the correct phrasing). Which means that it may come back but it's not a super aggressive and quick spreading type. Going into heat seems to be causing them. So my options are:
A)keep checking constantly to see if any more tumors pop up. Hope they don't and if they do, have them removed. In other words, surgery once a year probably. And hope that the cancer doesn't decide to set up shop anywhere else. Umm, no I don't think so. Not much of an option at all in my mind.
Or
B)have Skye spayed immediately and as soon as possible. This seems like the best idea. The only concerns I have are her age and having this surgery so close to the last. She's 11 and I've been warned that anaesthesia is pretty risky at her age. As is any surgery that involves opening the body cavity. (The tumors were just below the skin, so the removals were surface incisions)


I'm going to see Dr. Lisa tomorrow to talk things over and schedule the surgery. I'd rather chance the anaesthesia than cancer if it were me, so I'm making the same choice for Skye. I'm pretty worried about my girl though. I've already bawled all over a couple of friends (thanks y'all) and T and putting it on here too. Some people may decide I'm overreacting, getting this upset about a dog's health problems. I really couldn't care less. It's helped me calm down which keeps Skye from getting to wound up. And that's really all I care about.

Update: I stopped in to talk with Dr. Lisa today (Friday). Definitely getting Skye spayed. I'd already decided that and Doc said not only did she think it was the best thing but the pathologist who did the biopsy told her it was the smartest thing to do. There's a good chance spaying Skye will prevent any more tumors from forming/growing/spreading into other areas. BUT. Skye is over 11 years old and this is major surgery anyway. So Doc wants to do a whole set of blood tests and an EKG before we schedule the surgery. Once she gets all the results, we pick a day for the surgery. I have to talk to BL and new BL to make sure I can take a day off in about a week or so for the pre-op stuff. That's gonna be fun, since I'm not quite sure who I'll be working for next week. Doesn't really matter much, I'm taking the day off no matter what.

I used to work for Dr. Lisa so that has really helped the whole situation. She's straight up with me, doesn't try to soften things and quite willing to explain anything. She's fairly optimistic about the whole thing and I know her really well, so I trust her. Plus Skye likes her so that's one less thing to worry about.